Pushy Teachers - Parents Push Back

They send far too many fliers home requesting your participation in one activity or another.  They believe the more they ask, the more you will share of your time and money.  They have little regard for the other children you are parenting, the household responsibilities you have, job obligations, bills, and more.  Pushy teachers push parents over the edge with all their criticisms, rules, ideas, schedules, structures-- you name it!  Then they act as if they don't understand why a parent goes off or blows up on them! 

"I have this great idea and I would just love it if the parents would help me with it...Now Jane's mom can buy this...Peter's dad will bring that...Carol's grandma is so sweet, she will help me with the kids...Let's see who hasn't volunteered or gave money yet...hmmm?" Pushy Teacher says.  "I think I will create a flier, send an email, see the parent when he or she picks up the child or drops her off, set up a meeting, tell the child to talk to parent..."  In addition, pushy teachers who don't like that smart kid in the class who questions them on their rights and wrongs or that one who is often disruptive tend to target parents because "I just don't get why the child is always...I really wish the parent would...There are some kids I just don't like..."  Other pushy teachers will turn some children into teachers' pets while hoping they can get teachers' pet parents in the process!  If you don't see through the strategies, you will be taken for your time and money all in the name of loving and caring for your child.  Consider this, are you able to bombard people with communication outside of your workplace to help you with your job/idea/plan for free?  If so, you got yourself some willing volunteers.  But if not, you have to pay someone right?  A person who is somewhat skilled at what you do.  Sometimes it is just best to leave some people alone who have shown little interest beyond getting a child taught and that's it.  A teacher, who is like a used car salesman trying to get everyone who walks through her door to buy this or that, will find out sooner or later that it is best to simply leave some parents/customers alone.

So the emails, the printed fliers, and even your child comes home with messages daily/weekly/monthly from his or her teacher announcing classroom/school projects, holiday celebrations, collaborations with other teachers, needed items for field trips, and more.  It doesn't stop, pushy teachers keep pushing and pushing and pushing!  Discerning parents push back.  They don't permit teachers to run over them or run with their money or time.  They put limits on their giving and in some cases they sit out altogether depending on what is happening at home and elsewhere.  Teachers who are more concerned about accolades, personal achievements, and more could care less about parents' home and work life.  In their eyes, they are slackers, lazy, don't care about their children, and form other judgments when parents aren't like Jane's mom, Peter's dad, and Carol's grandparent who manage to give and give and give some more while hoping their precious children will receive some kind of favor.  Sometimes this works, other times it doesn't.  Familiarity breeds contempt.

As the pressure to push parents and children to do more of this and that increases from educators and others, there will also be some pushing back.  Some teachers use and/or abuse children to get what they want from parents by setting their sons and daughters aside or apart from group activities just because a parent chooses not to volunteer or give money to some grandiose idea/project/holiday event.  It is unfortunate but what might have started off as harmless with some teachers and good for the children will eventually turn ugly as more and more parents consult with school officials and attorneys due to the mental duress children and parents undergo from pushy teachers.  This is a serious issue for many who are already overwhelmed with personal and professional pressures.  It isn't any wonder that some parents flip out on teachers.

The communication for some of these pushy teachers is overkill and oftentimes useless when it is clear that most parents have indicated they are not interested in assisting.  How many letters, emails, text messages, and more does a teacher (turned beggar) have to send out even after parents have said, "I'm sorry this is not a good time...We have other obligations...We are not able to help...Please stop sending my child home telling me what I ought to do...?"

Kudos to the educators who have enough sense to put the brakes on all the unnecessary projects/ideas/event planning etc.  But to the pushy teachers, it isn't any wonder why you don't get the support you do?  The narcissistic teacher, the control freak counselor or principal, the weak PTA or nonchalant school board who refuses to see the writing on the wall when a parent complains will eventually reap for not doing their part when it comes to being understanding about parental plights and rights.

There is no one size fits all parent and not everything at home, work, church, after school, or at school appears to be "normal."  All should keep that in mind.  Push back parents on pushy teachers!  You are not obligated to do anything more then what you're already doing and that is making sure your child is cared for and taught.  Stop feeling guilty when you don't help out with something.  Stop being pressured or bullied into doing things you don't want to do.  Meet your goals, give back when you can, and do what is right.  Children do well in an environment of love and peace, not busyness and stress!

God bless.

Nicholl McGuire, author and blogger of When Mothers Cry and a mother of four sons.

A Touch from Jesus - Pray for Your Children, Show them The Way

Spring Break with Children, School Break Challenges

Well you knew it was coming, days off from school and you hate it!  Look, your secret is safe with me.  For years, I wasn't too happy about spring break either especially when I had two in diapers, one was being breast fed and the other was always into something.  The other two (yes four at home) would sometimes physically and verbally fight.  This is one of many reasons I lean on God to date as a result of motherhood issues.  See my work on YouTube channel nmenterprise7.  So I know what it is like to resent those days off from school particularly when you have little money and no job outside the home.

Spring break with children doesn't have to be too bad when mom makes up in her mind she will not be defeated by crying children, whining tweens and smart-mouthed teens.  You will be strong!  You will find your peace even while you struggle with school break challenges.  Here is a list of things you can do to get through this mentally and physically draining period.

1.  Get up, put your clothes on, and start your day with a sense of purpose.  When you do, you will be ready to do some things with the children when they plead, "Can we go out?  Are we going somewhere today?"

2.  Partner with other mothers or ask a supportive relative to tag along sometimes when you go out.  It makes it so easy when you have someone who can relate and is calm and patient with you and your kids.  Avoid those relatives who will only make you angry and wish that you would have never asked them to help.

3.  List activities you want them to participate in that will do the following:  give you a break, make life easier around the home (like doing chores for starters--more on this later), and won't wear you out!  Those time-consuming craft projects that require adult supervision will burn you out.  Having the children participate in something where you need to be present, a waste of time and money when you have a lot to do.

4.  Chores -- put children to work.  Create another list of everything those hands can do around your home.  From dusting to putting dishes away, everyone should have a task.  Did you see what I had my little ones doing at three and four on YouTube.  If not, see here and here.  This is another video I did as well, When the Kids are Busy Everyone is Happy.

5.  Stretch and exercise.  They can do it and so can you.  Breaks tend to make everyone eat more because the food is readily available and school related events have slowed down.  Afternoons and evenings.  Who says you only need to go out once a day?  Get those children going a couple of times a day--wear them out!  If you can take them to a gym where there is a daycare and you can afford it, do it.

6.  Visit people willing to watch your children or take them along to family events.  You will usually reap the benefits later after they get use to seeing you.  Many grandparents don't like the sudden phone call asking for something or dropping by and leaving children yet there is little conversation.

7.  Check into local recreation and park departments in your town/city to see what activities are taking place.  Go to church and ask members to pray for you and family.  Make time for God, because you will need Him!

8.  Use those rooms in your home and separate children. Anyone who leaves an area will have to deal with you!

9.  Take advantage of gaming devices, video, music, computers, and other things, but don't let them babysit the children for hours and hours.  Set a timer so that you won't forget about them--lol!

10.  Baths, swings, jumpers, music, vacuum cleaner noises, full belly, change of scenery/fresh air, card rides,and frequently changed diapers often helps those fussy babies.  Otherwise, you can stay in a room and pace the floor while crying right along with baby.  If the situation is not under control and other symptoms seem to be getting the best of baby, you will need to make that dreaded doctor's appointment.  See WebMD for health concerns.

As always, thanks for stopping by.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

Distant Daughters, Troubled Mothers - No Contact

Why Bother Reaching Out to Some Relatives and Friends?

They can't help you, don't really like you, and seem to tolerate you because your mate puts up with you, these people you call "family, in-law, son, daughter, best buddy...," why do you continue to bother with them when you know the relationship has clearly changed?

I thought of this when I saw a family of Mexicans coming out of their home and I said to myself, "Don't they get tired of one another, I mean having so many people living in a small place and everyone knowing so much about you..."  From a distance, it appeared relatives, in-laws, and friends were cool, but when I looked closely at their faces, I saw stress.

Now if we were all living together for a long period of time, we would grow angry with one another and might even threaten not to see one another again.  Yet, most of us don't live in an atmosphere with many people, but our cell phones are crowded with phone numbers.  When we have slow moments in our lives, we call the good, bad, and ugly in our lives, don't we?

Why do we bother with some folks?  Because they are mothers like us, bought our kids something years ago, said something nice about us, hoped that things had changed with them, God told us...why? These lukewarm individuals rarely acknowledge us, partners and our children, and will seldom, if ever, send us anything.  Some dispense compliments few and far in between.  They don't sound happy to hear from us.  And thinking back, they really didn't care for us when we first met them, and that hasn't changed for some.

The holidays come along and now everyone wants you around and this one is celebrating a birthday and that one is expecting you show up to this child's game, but what is happening in the meantime? Nothing.  No phone calls and other forms of communication unless you initiate it.  Sometimes they are the ones who could have, should have, and would have done for you and children, but decided that because they don't like how someone behaved with them or what they heard about you, they will not make much contact, if at all, with you.  People in relationships experience this much especially with in-laws.  If the husband or wife doesn't do well about connecting with his or her side of the family, the rest of his or her family members are forgotten.

Not only do relationships with partners take work, so do maintaining a connection with relatives and friends and because of this, we must look beyond that old circle of relatives and friends.  The folks you grew up with served their purpose and some of those friendships have since expired.  Some relatives may or may not be there for you depending on their mood for the day, whether they are generous, or really like you.  Whatever the issue, I ask again, why bother reaching out to some relatives and friends?

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7