3 Parenting Tips for Disciplining Teens

The Disrespectful Attitudes of Children and Their Parents

"The apple doesn't fall to far from the tree," so the old saying goes, such is the case with disrespectful children and their foolish parents.


Everything that a child does isn't cute or funny, I said this awhile back when my children were babies.  I didn't approve of the smart mouth comments when they started talking and I still don't find them entertaining now that they are older.  Sometimes they get carried away with their joking, but the minute it happens, I warn them.  They didn't see me act like a fool with others and so I don't permit them to behave that way in or out of public and then laugh about it.  They are expected to say, "Please, Thank you, Yes, No, Mr. and Ms." and so on.   


If we train our children at home about how to behave with us and other adults, then we don't look like fools in public.  Some parents invite disrespect into their homes, because they aren't very respectful of themselves.  They want to be called by first names.  They dress like school-aged kids.  They allow children to watch nasty things on the Internet and on TV.  They dress provocatively around children at home and don't care much to censor sexual activity with partner(s).   Look at the sheer number of parents who make media headlines because they did or said something offensive and a child became a part of the mayhem.  Meanwhile, children are off to foster care programs or worse headed to juvenile detention centers after following in mom or dad's footsteps.


There are those adults who frown at those who call them out on their negative tone of voice they use when asking for something.  They get an instant attitude when questioned about the way they respond to a request.  Standing nearby is usually an observant child who takes the parent's nasty ways all in--studying what mom or dad is doing and watching for results.


When we permit people to act disrespectful toward us and dismiss it as "nothing," "no big deal" then when is it considered something worth commenting on?  When do you say, "Pardon me, but I will not be treated this way, where is your manager?  or Excuse me, but watch your tone of voice with me."


I shudder at the sheer number of mean-spirited children raised by, nonchalant, self-absorbed, evil-speaking parents.  I can only wonder what might the future look like as we remove more and more rules from language, conduct, dress, and other things that have long kept members of society in control.


Nicholl McGuire

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No Respect, No Credit for Playing Mother to Siblings

She has long left this world, a sister who cared for as many as seven of her younger siblings.  Most gave her the respect due to her while she lived and in death, while others refused to appreciate her efforts choosing to say, "She wasn't my mother...she wasn't like a mother to me."  Then when prompted about one's past, there was a comment, "I mean she was okay, she did help us."


I could feel the sister's presence one day as if beckoning me to tell a brief part of her life story.  "Tell the people," I heard. "Appreciate those who may not have been their blood mothers, but acted like moms to them."  She didn't ask to be put in that role, she was forced to be.  A father who was out and about doing what he liked to do best, gamble, drink, and chase women, she had no choice but to be there for siblings since mom was busy with many duties including: farming, cooking, cleaning, working small jobs, and other things.  What was a daughter to do, but help?  The sister had not finished school as a result of assisting mom with all the children.  She also brought some with her when she got old enough to move and cared for them through their last years of school.


When the dad came to the household drunk, angry, wild or all three, he disrespected his family including being abusive to his wife in front of the children.  His eldest daughter had acted like a dad too.  Telling her siblings what to do, how to do it, and threatening to discipline them if they didn't act right.  When he saw her behavior, he would punish her.  She wasn't fearful of her dad, but she also wasn't crazy either.


Although some siblings hated the idea that the eldest children are given some parental power in their families, keep in mind, they didn't want or ask for it.  As one sibling put it, "I would have very much preferred to be a child, but mom and dad put the burden on me, so I had no choice, otherwise I would have got whipped."


Nicholl McGuire also maintains a blog that deals with many family issues here.