Parents: The Danger of Not Making Children Listen to You

They run through parking lots, pull down things from shelves, interrupt adults in heated battles, make loud noises in quiet settings, climb on things they are not supposed to, or try to eat stuff not meant to be put up to mouths, children should listen to people who try to keep them safe.


"Don't touch that...stay away from there...where is the parent?  Who is responsible for this child?"


Yet, the rebellious adult, who once didn't like listening to his or her own parents/guardians and grandparents, doesn't want to rob a child of a learning experience or fights hard not to be as strict as those he or she knew growing up, will not make children listen much.  Usually when this parent wants children to listen is when it is convenient for him or her, but not so much for others.  Men and women, who are in relationships with a rebellious parent type unfortunately have their share of parenting issues with them.  The nonchalant attitude of a parent, who is easily annoyed with authority figures, orderly people, or even clean individuals, finds rules are so archaic.  They don't like making their children do what they are told.


An angry little boy kicks, screams, and curses, dad doesn't do anything until mom tells the boy to get up.  The spoiled daughter, who has far too many things, isn't required to go to bed at a certain time, can eat what she wants, and doesn't bother to do homework unless she feels like it.  This child can be a source of much drama between parents.  Who is setting an order for the household and making the child follow it?


The danger of not making children listen to parents has caused many children to visit graves prematurely.  These sons and daughters have died, because they repeatedly did some things they might have been admonished about, but there were never any consequences. 


Sometimes parents of deceased children thought risky behaviors of children were cute, fun, and "...wasn't bothering anyone" until a tragic accident took place.  Couples have divorced because a lazy or irresponsible parent was simply uncaring and didn't do much when it came to disciplining children.


The next time when a parent is tempted to turn up his or her nose at someone because that person chose to boldly warn a child not to do something, take heed, because one never knows when death might strike. 


Nicholl McGuire

Teachers with Many Visions and No Money

Agreeing with everything a teacher says or does without any objections, many parents go along with "the educational program" for fear that if they do go against some thing in the classroom or at the school their children might suffer. 


Teachers have many plans, ideas, and thoughts on what to do with those clay pieces called, students that show up everyday to be molded into something new.  Parents observe their creations take on new art forms by the hands of creative teachers; therefore, sons and daughters are never quite the same.


Visions cost:  money, time and energy of which most of us have little.  Therefore, why is it that we feed into the pressure put upon us by children to do what the teacher says?  These teachers don't go home with our children and hear, "...but my teacher said...Santa is real...There was a Grinch who stole Christmas...the elves aren't evil..." and so on. 


The teacher is like a god, she is right, you are wrong!  But everything these educators say and do is not right!  Parents have a right to take a stand against all things inappropriate, wicked, immoral, unrighteous, strange, prejudice, rude, and ignorant!  Sometimes teachers, like parents, are used by children as excuses to get their way or to view things they have no business looking at or experiencing.  Parents would be shocked to see how some of these educators really lived their lives apart from school.  Putting one's faith wholeheartedly in a teacher and his or her vision can be dangerous!


When children come home with far too much paper and instructions from teachers, who work hard to help students while being rewarded periodically for creativity, parents already tired from working for bosses who also have many visions, become overwhelmed.  There is so much to do at home, and even more that requires money. There is always just one more thing a classroom or school needs for someone's bright idea, "Please send XYZ with your child...give them X amount of dollars for...Won't you please donate...?  Could you be available to...?"


The more you give, the more some expect!  Asking for money and contributions for visions should have a limit, but since there are no set rules, as parents, we make them!  Consider how long a school year is and how many years a child will have teachers who want the parents to do this, buy that...etc. while complaining in break rooms about apathy. 


Teachers, as well as parents, could all make their jobs easier if they didn't expect so much from one another.  Can't we teach personal traditions to our own children and real American history as well as our own ethnic history?  Can't we get a discount on field trips and take our children on our time?  How about we arrange to meet with other parents away from the school without a push to join the PTA under the watchful eyes of school leadership?  What about school performances and athletics, is this something that really needs to carry on for weeks when national scores are low at certain schools and there are more than enough online and offline community classes sometimes competing with the schools?  Is it necessary to meet with a teacher at a parent teacher conference on their time when there is an entire school year that one can call, write, email, text, and live chat about a child if a problem should arise--lose the archaic venting/progress report session that is carefully planned anyway based on how knowledgeable a teacher wants to look when seated in front a skeptical parent.  We can go on and on brainstorming about lessening one another's load.


In closing, visions cost money and all the rules, instructions, requirements, and history that goes along with making something happen is great if one is prepared to add more work to his or her title.  The help is not always going to be there just because it sounds like a great idea, so expect it.  For some educational leaders with so-called bright ideas, they would be better off saving the trees--systems that make learning more complicated should be outlawed! 


Some educators need to focus on improving what they already have and be grateful for the time and money they already got, before asking for more!


Nicholl McGuire 

Attachment Parenting

A Dream and Lesson on Spending and Saving Money

Overachieving Moms Taking on Too Much - Doctor, Babysitter, Tutor, Wife, Cook, Worker...

Far too many women are irritable, impatient, rude, and uncaring as a result of taking on many roles.  The help just isn't there!  A husband or boyfriend isn't thinking much about his partner's roles and would prefer not to do much, because he enjoys taking it easy.


Those who are busy right now would love a little assistance, but it isn't coming, not because people don't care, but because they are busy with their own lives.  The mother thought that by signing a child up for yet another activity, she would be met with support.  She assumed her relatives would offer to assist her with planning a family get-together.  She believed she was doing a good thing by volunteering to help an organization meet their goals.  She hoped her boss would appreciate her efforts on the job and give her a raise.  But nothing ever goes as planned lately and so the once kind patient and sweet mom is often yelling, bitter, and blaming everyone for her short-comings.


When women come to the place where nothing seems to be going right, it is time to fall back.  Check your health.  Are you getting enough sleep?  Are you preparing and eating quality meals?  Are you giving yourself a break from a partner and children?  Are you involved in too many projects and the affairs of others?  There are time wasters in may lives, the kind that are not productive, dead-end projects, toxic partnerships, and more that do nothing more than put women on their backs in hospital rooms.  What are your time wasters?  What did you agree to or keep working at that is really producing next to zero results?


As much as I love doing some things at home and elsewhere, I realize that the place I am in right now in my life is not the time to do certain activities.  Although others will say things like, "You should..."  I am quick to say, "...not right now."  Family, friends, and co-workers don't know your life like you do.  If they are encouraging you to add more responsibilities on top of the ones you already have, they are doing nothing more than sapping your time, energy, money, and patience!  There is a time for everything, God knows what is happening around the corner and will use people, places and things to warn us.  Some reading this right now are headed nowhere while falsely believing they are headed somewhere.  Many parents select activities for their children that they always wanted to do when they were young; meanwhile, they are upset with children because they are not nearly as interested in the classes as much as they had hoped.  The disinterest is actually a blessing in disguise and one could save herself much money if she would cut her kids off of activities they have said, "I don't really like this...I am bored...Mom could I please be in something else!"  Sooner or later the cries of a child will come back to haunt the mother if she isn't too careful.


How many roles does one have to take on to be considered a good wife and mother?  Where is dad, granddad, great granddad, step-dad, teacher, guardian, or friend in all this?  So many moms buy love whether they realize it or not.  They do this by purchasing large gifts and doing much for the men in their lives, but how are these men repaying these moms?  Are they taking on a few roles or objecting every time they ask, "Would you?  Could you please?  I really need your help..."  If these male figures aren't helping, then why are they in a busy mom's inner circle?  Don't enable their television watching, Internet surfing, skirt-chasing behaviors, as well as other things by trying to be a super mom.  I think of one mom who said, "I stuck around for the children...I was stupid...I let that man run over me!" 


Maybe you saw that image growing up of mom doing everything (the butcher, the baker, and the candle-maker), but now you have your own life!  Are you expected to do it all?  Well, enjoy taking on these many roles, your body will tell on you later.  But for those of us who have learned the hard way, it's not worth it!


Divorce, cheating, sneaky behavior and more is what some spoiled men offer the moody woman who is overworked, tired, frequently away from the home due to work and volunteering, obese due to eating so much, and more.  Men look for pleasure elsewhere when performance at home is dismal whether it is through substance abuse or lying on their backs in a bed or seated in a car somewhere.  It doesn't matter how nice you organize the home, how clean you are, how much you do for the kids, if your mind is on everyone and everything else but him, you lose in the end.  Some men will stick around and remain faithful, but will give Super Moms hell during the process.  This type of negative attitude from so-called good men will give busy mothers no choice but to cross their men off the to-do list--time for a dose of your own medicine, separation or divorce.  She reasons, "I can do bad all by myself."


So do keep this in mind, taking on too much is not good for you or your family, overachieving mom!  It doesn't matter how much money you make, the perks, or anything else when hearts and minds are disconnecting from you!  Go into the new year with a shorter to-do list and a clearer mind.  Hug your kids, love-make with your man, and praise your Creator for what you did do this year.  Trust me, we all appreciate you, I know I do because you stopped long enough to read the words on this blog!


To your health, wealth and success in the new year!


Nicholl McGuire, author of When Mothers Cry.