When Mothers Cry Radio Interview with Chris Moore

What Are We Training Our Children to Become?

Most people who are familiar with the Bible know about the scripture that reads, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it," Proverbs 22:6, according to the English Standard Version of the Bible on BibleHub.com.  But are we really training children and what exactly are we training them for or are we mere servants to our children with them training us? 

We usher our children here and there, cook, clean, and admonish them sometimes.  Often inconsistent in our discipline on one issue or another, we find ourselves a nervous wreck at times trying to teach a child this new thing or that one most likely over and over again.  "Bring the dish into the kitchen, don't leave it there...I told you I wanted you to bring the laundry here and then separate the clothes like this...You don't leave your shoes there, you put them here..."  The instructions are given, but at times fall on deaf ears.  So what is the consequence? Another long speech, something gets taken away, or one is shamed in front of others?

I thought of this wise Proverb about training a child yet again (see my other blog entries about parenting children) when I looked at the way I was raised as well as others and compared those that were considered privileged children (having all basic needs met and many things that underprivileged children didn't have like two parents living under the same roof for starters) to those that were not-so fortunate. What I noticed was that the privileged children were practically running their own worlds.  Parents were usually doing whatever was asked of them while children didn't do what parents asked of them without a gripe. Some of these parents found the time to buy their children just one more thing they wanted while things like homework and other school activities were considered important depending on who you asked. 

I was guilty as charged, being that I was gone from my children for a time, when it came to giving them things they really didn't need.  It is always an adjustment to get my sons back on track with me since I am the least favorite parent because I expose the little games they like to play with the other parent. 

The underpriviledged children (those that had grown up with less as compared to others,) were often grateful to get what little they got, at times appeared polite and respectful.  While those that had much, seem to be disrespectful and spoiled when interacting with others--mainly parents.  So I began to ponder, what are we training our children to become?

So I thought about the things my own sons have and didn't have.  I thought about what I could do to improve their atmospheres, their bodies, minds, and spiritual selves.  I asked them what their needs and wants were.  And when it was all said and done, they needed nothing.  They had the educational items as well as the entertaining ones to help them mentally and physically.  They had tools to create, perform, build, etc.  They had more than enough items to help with basic needs like food, clothing and shelter.  These boys had need of nothing!  Then I took what I learned and thought about their future since their present was covered.

As long as we are proactive in our children's lives and teach them how to be better people than we, then I can say confidently that we have done the best we can.  We must consider that there are three parts to us human beings--mind, body and spirit.  What can we do to improve all three besides giving our children things while continuing to look back on a past that we may have lacked this thing and that one with our own parents?  Can we, as parents, bring conversation, affection, consequence to rebellious behaviors, respect, praise, love, etc. to our children daily?  And what might be the end result to all this training, a child that grows up to be a man or woman who might share what he or she has learned from us (good, bad and otherwise) to others like we did after leaving our parents.  Maybe a son or daughter might learn to be more generous when we think he or she is being selfish.  Maybe this young person will turn out to be extraordinary and do great things for humanity.  Of course, there are the alternatives if we, society and/or they don't get it right.  But whatever our children become, we must remember to train these children above everything else!  Train, train and train some more!  When is the last time you sat down and read the Bible?  When was the last time you shared a life lesson with your child?  When was the last time you told them what to do and how to do it?  When was the last time you checked in to find out if he or she has the basic skills in order to survive in this doggy dog world?

If we want children to be more this or that, we must be willing to change the way we are training them.  We must put aside our bias persepctives and defensive mentalities when a wise person calls us out on what we are and aren't doing when it comes to raising our children. 

We can see when training needs to be done at a job and dealing with fellow employees, so why can't we see this when dealing with our children?  If your current training isn't producing the results you want, change it!  Cultivate an atmosphere that goes along with your new system of parenting.  You desire a bright child?  Then put more books and educational programs in front of them complete with your presence, your training and your wisdom.  You want a child to be more focused?  Then take away all the unimportant things that are distracting him or her. 

The more you expect from your child, the more you will need to be present in his or her life.  A child can't raise his or herself--that's why they need us!  Successful children are not born over night, they need to be trained.  So I challenge my readers, as well as myself, to do the kinds of things in our homes that will make children listen more, help out more, learn more, and so on. 

Whatever we want from our children, they will need more of us and less stuff.

Nicholl McGuire 

Too Funny! Moms Rap about Motherhood

Taking a Break or Being Lazy?

When you really desire to take a break from being Mom is when you know you need to be. 

Hello, I'm Nicholl McGuire and today I would like to share some thoughts about being a mom.

I took a break not that long ago from children yet again.  I have made a point to do this periodically, because for me it isn't easy being a Mom.  I have done the whole "I can't be away from my children" super mom stuff in the past and to be quite honest, I put myself in the hospital.  So breaks for me is a good thing.

Not everyone can parent well when there is much work, opposition, trouble, trial--you name it--all around.  Just when you think you are doing great with so much activity going on, there are a few witnesses looking on the outside in saying, "Not so.  You feed the children too much.  You buy them too many things.  You let them play too many video games.  They are involved in too much.  When do you make time to nurture your relationship with your spouse?"  Get my point?

So sometimes you can't do it all and well either.  Those "I can't do..." feelings will come especially during the school year that will say, "Don't get up this morning.  Don't cook, clean or do anything else." 

There is a time to take a break, but there are those times that one must fight through the feelings of "I don't want to..." and just do anyway.  Surfing the Internet for entertainment purposes is simply not important.  Watching TV, talking on the phone, shopping, visiting relatives, hanging out with neighbors and friends are all past-times, but they aren't significant when children need to be trained on basic things like cleaning up after themselves,  the house needs to be cleaned, trash needs to be taken out, clothes laundered, and meals cooked.  But sometimes a lazy spirit has a way of showing up and telling you that all things "fun, nice, and great" need your attention ASAP.  Don't be fooled!  That is how we mothers end up falling behind with preparing meals, doing chores, putting children to bed, paying bills, writing letters, answering emails, making business calls, etc.  Think of those times when you stayed on the phone far too long and every thing you had planned for that day ended up not being accomplished?  Procrastination got in the way of duties.   

Like children, husbands will need attention.  You may be too weary one day, then two, then three and so on to meet his needs.  But if you let too many days, weeks, and months go by, problems will occur in your relationship that will eventually affect your parenting skills and your children's behavior and performance in school.  Avoid the temptation to act like a lazy lover and do what you can to get some more energy even if it means cutting back on some of that after school hustle and bustle.  Remember give your man some lovin'! 

In closing, make the time for you when you can, but recognize the difference between a break and just being lazy.

Nicholl McGuire
See my parenting blog for families with mixed age groups http://parentsbabieschildren.blogspot.com

What Would You Do? Food Stamps Single Mother Of 4 Children