How to Recover From Burnout

If you have ever experienced burnout you know how difficult it can be to get over - especially if you are still working. Here are a few ideas to help you work through the recovery process. The theme underlying all of these suggestions is that you must be good to yourself. No one else can or will do that for you.

At Home:

• Eat properly - 6 small meals a day is ideal but be sure they are balanced and low calorie
• Get plenty of sleep. Quality is better that quantity. If you need help sleeping see your doctor. You can't recover if you are exhausted.
• Get plenty of exercise. It does not have to be hard exercise even walks are good for you (and the dog!).
• Get out in the fresh air as much as possible.
• Simplify everything you can.
• Live under your means and get rid of financial worries.
• Clear away clutter and you will open your mind to new ideas.
• Don't be a perfectionist. You are not Martha Stewart so relax about the house and cooking.
• Be sure chores are spread out evenly. Don't do it all yourself and don't try to do it all in one day.
• Learn to meditate or do yoga.
• Listen to soothing music instead of the television.
• Take up art or reading for relaxation.
• Listen to relaxation or visualization tapes.
• Get massages to relax tension.
• Journal to release emotion.
• Take soothing baths and use exotic oils and fragrances.
• Get help with the kids so you have some "me" time.
• Laugh
• Play

At Work:

• Break your tasks into small pieces and have a mini celebration when you compete each one.
• Don't do everything 100%. Learn when 80% is good enough.
• Take breaks often.
• Get up and move around.
• Eat lunch - not at your desk.
• Go outside and walk in the fresh air.
• Guard your "self" time. Do not have an open door policy.
• Plan specific times to return phone calls and emails.
• Leave your work at work. Do not take it home with you.
• Try to eat 6 small balanced meals a day.
• Avoid sweets and chips.
• Do exercises at your desk to release tension.
• Take regular vacations.
• Take a day a week of for a while to give yourself a long weekend to rest.
• Decide what must change and make an action plan to accomplish it.
• Don't try to do everything yourself. Learn to delegate and remember the 80/20 rule.
• Engage your sense of humor.

If you can't get yourself back on track with these ideas get a coach who can help you. Be sure to do thorough screening so you get someone who is well credentialed and well trained. You want the best for yourself.

About the Author:

Lynn Banis PhD, MCC is known as America's High Performance Coach. She specializes in helping executives and entrepreneurs make the most of their opportunities and potential. Her years of working with small and large businesses has given her a depth of knowledge that is invaluable to her clients. You can reach her at http://www.discoverypointcoaching.com or lynn@discoverypointcoaching.com. Also check out Lynn's other businesses: Coach Academy Texas, a cutting edge coach training company; and Turnkey Coaching Solutions, a coaching program management and contract coach staffing company.

What to Do with Kids You Birthed, Babysit or Just Want to Get Rid of

You didn't realize just how stressful caring for children could be when you would pass them on the street and smile. "How does she do it?" You may have thought this before you had your own or someone else's children, "Good Lord! They are driving me crazy!" now that the shoe is on the other foot!

Well if you are making the mistake of not giving them enough to eat, to do, and most of all time to sleep, then that is only part of your battle! Throw in a sick, miserable "I want my mommy! I want my daddy!" type and you just might be walking on a fine line of abuse. "Did I just say all those bad words to a child! Did I just man handle one! OMG! " Little junior and darling daughter just brought out the worst in you, didn't they? Well never fear there is always an apology, a pill to calm your nerves, and even better a way out called, "vacation" (even if it means closing your door and giving yourself a long time out.)

Okay so what to do with the spoiled brats? Well first create a plan that includes everything in your home that is considered kid-friendly and match the children to each one. Younger ones can play computer games, build blocks, color in books, scribble on paper, watch a video or exercise, etc. If you have older ones teach them how to do things such as tie their shoes include chores (more on this later,) do worksheets at a higher grade level, and have them participate in outdoor activities like bike riding, dance lessons or help you with landscaping.

When you create a comprehensive plan for yourself to do with the children complete with a quiet time, you will post a similar plan decorated with bright colors and stickers somewhere in your home for all to see (including the Mister.) That's right, he needs to be helping you! But some women will say, "but he is the breadwinner!" So what he works, you work too! So what he needs to watch the game, you wish you could watch a TV show uninterrupted too! Plan accordingly. Explain to him how we all need to step up to the plate. You both created these children; therefore, you both need to help raise them. Besides you just might need a gym teacher -- he could be that. But what if there is no additional help, you will need to find it. It comes in all shapes and sizes, some with price tags and others with none. You can visit a park and pick the brains of other mothers, sign up for a gym membership with a daycare, find programs that don't cost much or are free via YMCA or welfare office. You can enlist family and friends. Trade off days such as you watch your children and theirs one day and someone else watches yours another.

Children need to be busy and when you live in a house where there is no structure, they will get on your nerves. Computers, gaming systems, worksheets, activity books, painting, music lessons, creating their own board games, and other things keep them busy so make sure they are doing a little bit of everything everyday until they exhaust themselves. Don't allow them to come to you with statements like, "I'm bored!" Give them your papers and old photos to scan, have them help you organize some stuff in your home, give them a camera and let them take pictures of things that you may need for insurance purposes, a bragging book or something else, have them memorize scripture in the Bible, instruct them on how to dust, put dishes away, wipe walls, vacuum, cook, and other chores. What if one day you become ill, your children (or someone else's) will know what to do without you telling them. Give them something nice for doing a job well-done.

There is more to having children besides wiping their butts and burping them once they are old enough to talk back to you. Teach them how to become independent and help others whether they are your children or someone else's! Some parents don't want their children to do anything but run around and "act like children" well in school they can't do it or anywhere else, might as well do the same at home. If they must run around and be free let them do it in a yard or at a playground. Hope this helps some of you who just don't know what to do with your children -- oh by the way I have one in my bunch that has a bit of a mental problem so I am learning to give him things that he likes to do to keep him out of trouble while watching what he eats. Herbal remedies and vitamins have been a help too for all the children! So if you have one who is hyperactive, a tadbit on the wild side etc. consider researching more about his or her personality disorder and what alternatives are out there besides prescription meds.

P.S. (Oh by the way a healthy bowl of oatmeal, cream of wheat, pasta with meat, or a thick, juicy homemade turkey burger and fries keeps them full for quite awhile, some will drift off to sleep -- hooray!)

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and Laboring to Love Myself on Amazon.com

The Children Are Out Of School: Time to Lighten the Load

Being a stay-at-home mother with four boys, I realized before school let out that I had to scale back on my personal projects (like book writing, typing, organizing and selling things online) to make more time for them. I have found that it has helped me somewhat manage the children. So I encourage anyone who is trying to balance multiple projects in addition to children, if you find yourself stressed, scale back not from the children, but your projects!

Some people love saying that word, "busy" whenever you ask them, "How are things going?" Some people are sincerely busy while others, dare I say it, are not. At the end of a workday, many are at home watching TV or surfing the net -- I know because some of these people have been customers of mine. Their idea of being busy is watching television on weekends. Last I checked, that's called, "Relaxing." Men usually know how to relax, but women, not hardly!

So I looked around at what I considered a priority in my personal life. I found that my hobbies were running into my priorities. As much as I like to do certain things like Twitter, blog or even check my email, they aren't as important as checking in with my children. I am learning quite a bit when I step back from the computer, television, radio, and phone. In addition, the ripping and running here and there to do one thing or another also had to be decreased. I started by calling people in advance and letting them know I had a lot of plans for my children and wouldn't be on the phone much. I also put projects I started in a folder to be done later. I delegated household responsibilities to all able-bodies. Lastly, I utilized paper and pen and wrote notes wherever needed so that everyone was on the same page and I wouldn't forget promises. I explained everything to members of my household. Making sure I included how they would benefit from the changes.

I realized that all this "stuff" we think we need to do now, now now... is not what I would care about when the day comes for me to shut my eyes and say, "Goodbye world!" Instead, I rather reflect on the conversations I had with my children and the things I taught them.

May God bless you and your children this summer and please do attempt to scale back from all that stuff!

Nicholl McGuire

Motherhood - Losing Myself and Finding My Inner Mommy

Twelve days had passed since the birth of my daughter. And on November 29, 2000 I hit a wall. Exhausted was not the word for it. I remember it like it was yesterday:

I was trembling on this inside from fatigue. I kept thinking " I just need a break". I walked passed the mirror in the bathroom and was started by the sight of myself. It had been days since I last washed my hair, the pony tail trick was not going to work much longer. My eyes were bloodshot and my dark circles had dark circles. I was wearing shorts and a a nursing bra, no top. Somewhere in the middle of the night I tossed the top off, it was simply too much work for the every 1.5 hour breastfeeding sessions. Speaking of feedings every 1.5- 2 hours for two weeks was taking its toll on me. Not to mention, I started this marathon of sorts with 18 hours of hard labor.

My days and nights consisted of feeding, diapering and repeating. I no longer ate, slept, bathed or did anything really when I wanted to: it all revolved around my precious child, of whom I waited 5 long years to have.

But still I was tired and hungry AND TIRED. Did I already say that?

Soon my husband made it home from work and I quickly handed off the baby to him. I explained I needed some time to myself. I prepared a hot bath, lit some candles and slid down into the blissful bubbles. I soaked in the warmth, began to relax and no sooner, I felt an ache in my heart and thought, "I sure miss my sweet girl." Then I started to cry. I needed those few moments to realize that I did not need the me time like I used to. Sometime during those two weeks of nonstop feedings, I changed. My world changed. I lost everything I knew: my routine, my control, and sometimes my sanity. But in losing me, I found my inner mommy. And she is the one who gets the job done. I am glad I found her, and so are my kids. Yes, I did it all over again some 4 years later and loved every sleepless minute of it.

Liz Pevytoe is a registered nurse, board certified lactation consultant who lives in the DFW Texas area with her family. Want to learn more about breastfeeding or read more stories about motherhood? Visit her site: http://www.askthelactationconsultant.com

Motherhood and Single Blessedness

It is no longer taboo in the society that there are mothers who chose or who are forced to remain single despite of having a child. There are already a considerable percentage of single mothers in the overall human population worldwide. And gradually, the society is embracing these women as new breeds of liberated individuals, taking part of existence in this world.

Motherhood is a way of life that women choose or are destined to take in the later part of their lives. But then again, due to morality issues, we cannot solely pertain to Motherhood as a phase of life expected only at the latter part of their existence. There are of course women who got pregnant at an early age, and have assumed Motherhood from then on. Either way, mothers are still mothers. Whatever it is that is missing in their lives, such as a husband and a father to their children, it doesn't make they any lesser of a person. It even heightens their courage and strength as women who dared morality and social standards of doing without a husband to put up with for the rest of their lives. A woman is just equally competent to become a father and a mother to her children, and sometimes can provide even more than with a man in the family.

But what have made these women welcome single blessedness in their lives?

Motherhood is hard as it is. And having to wake up every day of their lives with a man that cannot fulfill his responsibilities for the family is extremely torturous for them, than living it all as a single mother. Women are starting to fill in the gaps in the society by taking over significant roles and positions that men couldn't have done any better. Thus, the present discriminatory movements against women are of low regards already because all of it is ultimately disregarded by the women's strong will of assuming even the hardest of all tasks, which is motherhood.

And so, it is only right for the society to accept the presence and the situation of single mothers. There is no reason at all that can validate or legalize condemning or limiting the rights of women who are able to go on with life as a single mother. The people must not forget that among those single mothers come most of the intelligent and socially active persons in the world that has made great changes in the flow of history such as Bill Clinton and Barack Obama. And so we must say, never judge a single mother because in their hands did the people grew that can change the face of the earth. And so they did along with many other people around the world.

Alexa Rae Ciriaco is a single mother, a teacher, and a writer. She is currently taking up her Graduate Studies on Educational Technology. She also specializes on parenting topics, specifically regarding infants and toddlers. She is also inclined into writing articles of various niche.