Wednesday

What to Do with Kids You Birthed, Babysit or Just Want to Get Rid of

You didn't realize just how stressful caring for children could be when you would pass them on the street and smile. "How does she do it?" You may have thought this before you had your own or someone else's children, "Good Lord! They are driving me crazy!" now that the shoe is on the other foot!

Well if you are making the mistake of not giving them enough to eat, to do, and most of all time to sleep, then that is only part of your battle! Throw in a sick, miserable "I want my mommy! I want my daddy!" type and you just might be walking on a fine line of abuse. "Did I just say all those bad words to a child! Did I just man handle one! OMG! " Little junior and darling daughter just brought out the worst in you, didn't they? Well never fear there is always an apology, a pill to calm your nerves, and even better a way out called, "vacation" (even if it means closing your door and giving yourself a long time out.)

Okay so what to do with the spoiled brats? Well first create a plan that includes everything in your home that is considered kid-friendly and match the children to each one. Younger ones can play computer games, build blocks, color in books, scribble on paper, watch a video or exercise, etc. If you have older ones teach them how to do things such as tie their shoes include chores (more on this later,) do worksheets at a higher grade level, and have them participate in outdoor activities like bike riding, dance lessons or help you with landscaping.

When you create a comprehensive plan for yourself to do with the children complete with a quiet time, you will post a similar plan decorated with bright colors and stickers somewhere in your home for all to see (including the Mister.) That's right, he needs to be helping you! But some women will say, "but he is the breadwinner!" So what he works, you work too! So what he needs to watch the game, you wish you could watch a TV show uninterrupted too! Plan accordingly. Explain to him how we all need to step up to the plate. You both created these children; therefore, you both need to help raise them. Besides you just might need a gym teacher -- he could be that. But what if there is no additional help, you will need to find it. It comes in all shapes and sizes, some with price tags and others with none. You can visit a park and pick the brains of other mothers, sign up for a gym membership with a daycare, find programs that don't cost much or are free via YMCA or welfare office. You can enlist family and friends. Trade off days such as you watch your children and theirs one day and someone else watches yours another.

Children need to be busy and when you live in a house where there is no structure, they will get on your nerves. Computers, gaming systems, worksheets, activity books, painting, music lessons, creating their own board games, and other things keep them busy so make sure they are doing a little bit of everything everyday until they exhaust themselves. Don't allow them to come to you with statements like, "I'm bored!" Give them your papers and old photos to scan, have them help you organize some stuff in your home, give them a camera and let them take pictures of things that you may need for insurance purposes, a bragging book or something else, have them memorize scripture in the Bible, instruct them on how to dust, put dishes away, wipe walls, vacuum, cook, and other chores. What if one day you become ill, your children (or someone else's) will know what to do without you telling them. Give them something nice for doing a job well-done.

There is more to having children besides wiping their butts and burping them once they are old enough to talk back to you. Teach them how to become independent and help others whether they are your children or someone else's! Some parents don't want their children to do anything but run around and "act like children" well in school they can't do it or anywhere else, might as well do the same at home. If they must run around and be free let them do it in a yard or at a playground. Hope this helps some of you who just don't know what to do with your children -- oh by the way I have one in my bunch that has a bit of a mental problem so I am learning to give him things that he likes to do to keep him out of trouble while watching what he eats. Herbal remedies and vitamins have been a help too for all the children! So if you have one who is hyperactive, a tadbit on the wild side etc. consider researching more about his or her personality disorder and what alternatives are out there besides prescription meds.

P.S. (Oh by the way a healthy bowl of oatmeal, cream of wheat, pasta with meat, or a thick, juicy homemade turkey burger and fries keeps them full for quite awhile, some will drift off to sleep -- hooray!)

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and Laboring to Love Myself on Amazon.com

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Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media

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