8 Reasons Moms Dread Holiday Parties

So now that the holidays are here everyone gets invited to people's houses for parties and gatherings. I dread this every time and usually don't RSVP because I'm scared to commit to going.

First of all..can I even make it on time with both kids?

Second..I have to pack almost everything they sell at Babies R Us if I'm driving far away

Third..again if I'm driving far away..will I have to pull over to feed the baby or change either childs diaper? (Last time I did that a cop knocked on my window and told me it was illegal to do that) I guess next time I should just do it while driving then officer?!

Fourth..is the party at a late time and my kids are expecting a bath and bedtime? If so they probably won't be on their best behavior and childless people may deem them "wild kids"

Fifth..is the place I'm going baby proofed? Usually not and there are almost always some stupid crystal cat collections displayed or tea sets right where my toddler and baby can reach

Sixth..will other kids be there? If not than I know my kids will get bored and into trouble and this probably means the house won't have toys for them to play with either

Seventh...is it even worth it? If I'm going to be chasing after two little ones and constantly saying "no!" and can't hold an adult conversation then why bother

Eight..I'm also not a fan of chasing toddlers in heels, give me back my Juicy Tracksuit!

Why not get a sitter you ask? Because my mom and mother in law are usually invited to the same parties. Ugghh the stress! I'd rather go to the park and call it a day.

Audra Rozen aka Milfy Mom @ http://www.diamondsanddirtydiapers.blogspot.com

Poem: an Example of a Loving Mother
Sometimes we forget about the good memories of a mother's love. This poem reminds us of the good times.
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The Bad Mother

For reporters, the bad mother is a staple of feature story writing. I've interviewed some bad mothers in my time: there was the one who prostituted herself in front of her children; one who pimped her own twelve year-old daughter; the one who beat her son so badly that the sheet rock was marked with the impressions from his head hitting the wall. Bad mothers, the iconic story goes, either destroy their children – or create criminals. There was one young criminal I remember well – a gang member who had taken part in drive-bys and had himself been on the receiving end of a bullet or two. Here’s how he described his childhood: “My Mom - every night - Uncle Mike, Uncle Bill, Uncle Bob – I mean, I love her, but fuck her too.” And then he told me how he had shot a neighborhood kid who once made fun of him for being the son of a whore.

He was twenty years younger than I, and packed a sawed off shotgun in his jeans, while I carried only a pen. But I identified with him immediately. I recognized that mixture of anger and love. I understood how he might have felt so compelled to defend an indefensible mother. Because I have spent no small amount of time defending my own indefensible mother.

In my late forties, married; and commuting between Boston and New York as I began a teaching job at Columbia University. I once asked Mom could I stay with her for a week or so. She was wary; her husband, an actor, was just learning his lines for a new Broadway show. I promised I would stay out of the way, stay in the back room. Even so, after eight days she suddenly appeared at my bedroom door, her face a mask of determination. "How much longer are you going to be here?" she wanted to know. I was in the way. It was too hard for her to live with another grown woman in the same house. She said my presence was "disruptive" to the rhythm of their lives.

I went to class, then came home and packed my bags. As I was going out the door, Mom hugged and kissed me, apologizing for not being able to let me stay longer. She had to put her husband first.

That's the way it was, the way it had always been, with my Mom. She hadn’t raised any of her three children – we’d all been farmed out to foster homes, visiting when it was convenient for her. I learned to live under the conditions of her love. Ours was a complicated relationship not just because she was an erratic parent, but because she was white and I, her youngest offspring, was the daughter of a black man, an entertainer named Stump Cross who’d been popular during the forties. I wouldn't meet my dad till I was nearly thirty, and, then, when I made a film about the whole experience, Mom and I made the rounds of the talk shows. I always identified myself as African American, but one caller accused me of being so happy to have a white woman’s love that I would endure anything. Something about that barb struck home. For a long time afterward, I wondered whether I was indeed longed to be accepted by whites so badly that I would put up with anything. Maybe that explained why I was so often the only black person in my workplaces, why I befriended those with whom I disagreed vehemently even while I stuffed feelings of anger and worthlessness that led to depression and drinking binges.

But I don’t think it was because Mom was white that I put up with all this.

It was because she was my Mom.


June Cross makes documentary films and teaches broadcast journalism at Columbia University. June authored her first book, a memoir, "Secret Daughter," after releasing the Emmy Award Wining Documentary of the same title. For more information on the book, and June's story, please visit: Secret Daughter.com

They Take More Than They Give: Our Children

As fast as we make the money, they spend it. As quick as we make the food, they eat it and want more. They are our children and they can get on our nerves!

What goes around does indeed come back around! You probably did it when you were younger, stress your dear parent or guardian out whether with words or noise from time to time. You didn't always mean to, but at times you knew exactly what you were doing. It was a battle of wills! Who would break first? You or they?

# # #

Tis the season and the children are anxiously awaiting what dear ole Santa, I mean... mom and dad will bring. I buried Santa before he got any credit for anything I did! The children have been informed no Santa and possibly no gifts. That's right! Our household got hit in a major way this holiday season due to the recession!

My eldest son was understanding, the second son was crying, the third said "we already have toys!", and the last he just smiled and ran out the room. I was taking it hard myself, but I couldn't let it show. So I prayed about it.

I have always been one of those people who have been outspoken on not borrowing unless you have to and then what did I do? I planned Christmas this year on borrowed money. While I wait for the gifts to arrive, I bought batteries at a local store to spark up the boys old toys again. They were pleased after the bad news.

I personally never experienced what it was like not to celebrate Christmas as a child. Who knows my parents probably did the same thing a time or two we just never knew it?

These days I am doing what I can to pay back what I owe in very, very small amounts. This was my latest mother's cry and hopefully my last at least for awhile anyway.


Nicholl McGuire
http://associatedcontent.com/nichollmcguire

6 Essential Tips For Working Mothers

"A mother's work is never done" (sigh). Just when you think you're through, you find you've only just begun. You aren’t the only one!

If the pressure of balancing your work and parenting is ultimately leading you to give both your work and family less, it is time to find a new parenting strategy and quick! When a work from home mom decides to set clear boundaries and manage her time effectively she can dramatically reduce parenting stress and boost her parenting joy. So let’s get started.

Six Essential Work Life Survival Parenting Tips for the Work at Home Mom (WAHM)

Your happiness as a work at home mom (WAHM) depends on your commitment to following these six parenting time management tips:

1. Ban your open door policy. Set your work hours and stick with them. Unless your job requires you to answer the phone, answer it only on your schedule. A work at home mom (WAHM) has no time for distractions (especially from your kids and spouse—likely your biggest distractions). This only leads to low productivity. Make certain every member of your household knows the times of day when you are and are not available for interruptions and stick with this schedule.

2. Involve your family in what you do. Talk about what you do, ask your family to help solve work problems (children often find very creative solutions), and let them help you with small jobs like licking envelopes. One work at home mom I know asked her nine year old daughter to answer the business telephone when the receptionist called in sick, on one of their biggest sales days. This boosted her daughter's self-esteem and also helped her appreciate how her mother's work put a roof over her head, food in her mouth and clothes on her back.

3. Consciously make the transition from work to home. When it is family time, focus on the family. Make certain you have cleared the work cobwebs from your head. Write down your to-do list for the next day and ask yourself before you leave your desk, "How can I make my time with my family special?" Then smile and give them a hug when you see them. Too tired? Take a 20 minute cat nap, a quick walk, meditate for a short while or say a little prayer to let go of your day, so you can be all they deserve you to be.

4. Remember it's about quality time, not quantity time. When you are with your family, be with your family. Leave work behind so you can focus on them. "Light up" as soon as they come into the room and find fun ways to do mealtimes, and even clean-up times together. Half an hour of positive can prevent dozens of hours of misbehavior.

5. Solve misbehavior time-wasters. As a family counselor, I regularly hear variations on the complaint, "My kids are driving me crazy, but I'm too crazy to find time to learn how to stop them from driving me crazy." There are simple ways to motivate your children to want to be well behaved. Invest the time now, so you don't spend more time and frustration later on (which of course takes away from time you can devote to your work).

6. Schedule your self-care time. The most critical key to your WAHM success is to nurture some of your needs so you can continually renew your passion for parenting. You need time to replenish your energy so you can be more efficient, productive and happy. With so much on your plate it is essential that you schedule a minimum of 20 minutes a day for you. Before or after the kids are in bed is generally the easiest to stick with.

By the way, if putting your self-care needs first makes you feel guilty and selfish, then don't do it for you—do it for your family. It is time that your self-care became a necessity, not a luxury so you can give more to all you do—at both work and home. Remember that if you are emotionally and physically healthy, you will be able to give more quality time to your family.

The six parenting time-management tips above will allow even the busiest work at home mom to finally have her cake and eat it too. By successfully balancing work and family, you will model for your children a fulfilled and healthy woman and your family will no longer have to deal with a "burnout-mom" but a happy one!


Kelly Nault-Matzen, M.A., is a corporate spokesperson, mother and wife, family counselor and founder of http://UltimateParent.Com —a company that provides parenting resources such as the Mommy Moments online parenting course. To gain access to more parenting tools visit http://www.ultimateparenting.com