Classic video - Dr. Roni with Oprah on Teenage Girls and their Mothers - challenges and ...

Children Can Hinder You From Goals If You Let Them

Distraction.  It comes it so many forms to keep one off track, running in circles and lost in the midst of confusion.  Children can be a hindrance.  Keeping you from the dreams, goals and visions you set out to accomplish.  As mothers, we love our children will do almost anything for them, but what we can't afford is to be knocked off course.  The household still needs our attention despite Suzie's cries, money needs to be earned even if the baby is only weeks old, our health must be checked sooner or later even though our children have been to the doctor's office more than enough times this year, business must be profitable which will require long hours at times no matter how much they need us...so when children show up with yet another demand, watch out or you just might get caught in the maze of distraction with no way out!

I got a firsthand look at this when I wasn't a mother and then later had to fight through all the distractions once I had four of my own (all boys).  I watched how women would start off doing something only to be tapped, pulled, pushed, or yelled at by children.  They would forget what they were talking about, didn't follow up on promised phone calls, and missed out on opportunities because of their children.  The same little people who could love mom today for yet another thing she bought turned right around and hated her the next day because they didn't get what they wanted.

Many moms spoil their children and the fathers too.  Some well-meaning advisers will either caution about spoiling kids or aid in the destruction.  For instance, while Mom is coddling her son once again, she is distracted from what is going on with her husband.  He is impatient, moody and frequently tells her, "Stop with the Momma's boy stuff...let him be a man!" 

Some mothers push people away whether they know it or not, because of their children's many wants (noticed I didn't say needs).  These stressed mommies, who over indulge selfish sons and daughters, simply have no time or room for anyone else.  "Come see my child play...my child's birthday is coming up...I can't donate anything, I give my kids my funds...I wish I could help but I  am busy with my kids, but I could really use you to..." 

For those who have a faith, some would say the devil uses children just as much as he uses adults.  I would have to agree.  Children are vulnerable, easy targets to manipulate.  They lie, steal, and do other things that leave many scratching their heads, "Now what would possess them to do that?"  Exactly, what would possess them.  Sons and daughters can be used to attack and distract.  Who would suspect that a cute little child is a walking time bomb?  Who would even think twice about a teen destroying a marriage?  Who would ever figure out that children (or maybe a spouse putting children up to something) doesn't want mom going back to school or working outside the home?

If you ever find yourself battling to get out the door, complete your work, or do other things and every time you set out to do them, your child/children is in the way, you know what to do, press through the madness!

 You love your child, but don't be any fool for him or her.


Nicholl McGuire   

On Acting Like Your Difficult Mother - No Wonder the Children Act Like They Do

The things you don't want to see in your children show up and show out.  Your children act a lot like you when you were younger, don't they? 

Your children might have inherited certain personality traits from you or other relatives that you don't like or want to talk about with others for fear that what they say and do will reveal a lot about you. 

Why get angry act them for the same things you are guilty of, demand respect when you aren't one for being kind or loving to others, or talk ugly about their ways to kinfolk when you know what you do with others?  Upon closer inspection, one can see how you behave with parents and/or grandparents.  Maybe the way you have acted over the years is not as bad, but there are some commonalities.  Take for instance when you get angry at your child, did your parent act like that too?  What about when you expect your children to act in certain ways with you, did your mother want the same? 

As much as we might think we don't act like or as bad as a parent, at times we do.  Sometimes the pain of the past, undiagnosed personality disorders, generational health woes and curses, and more play a part in the present, because we continue to aid dysfunctional behaviors. 

Take a look at Tell Me Mother You're Sorry, are you acting a lot like a difficult mother?  What might your relationship with your children look like 10, 15 or even 20 years from now?  If it is in your power to stop a potential cycle of mental manipulation, power and/or control, do it now, before it's too late.

Tell Me Mother You're Sorry by Nicholl McGuire

School Year Blues - Don't Worry, Pick Your Battles

The school year is just too long to be worried about the little things.  We jump to conclusions sometimes when teachers talk to our children about their faults.  We assume the worst if they should participate in an activity or accept an invite that is out the norm.  We are parents with stresses that are sometimes induced because we don't know what else to do or think.  When situations are beyond our control, it is very tempting to lose control, but don't!

With four sons, I have learned that everything they say and do or what is said or done to them doesn't need my involvement.  Some things they have to solve for themselves especially homework.  I sometimes think, "If I wasn't around, what would they do?"  Check the Internet, call a friend, ask a relative, etc. 

Challenges make our children stronger, but sometimes we want to shield them from the pain only to cause ourselves blues.  Meanwhile, they look at us like, "What is so serious...Why is mom acting like that...I thought she taught us to..."  We can easily lose our children's respect and trust when we are over-the-top about every little thing.  Instead, they start to think we are crazy.  In time, they begin to distance themselves from crae- crae (slang term means crazy).

So with the start of a new school year, you might as well be prepared for the highs and lows and take them all in stride.  Even if the worst possible scenario does take place (but we pray it doesn't) at least we know that our children are survivors!  They will overcome! We did!

Pick your battles, my sisters, because if you don't you just might not be around to help your children by the time they graduate college.  Think about it.

Nicholl McGuire

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