Let's be honest, most children don't quiet themselves when told, won't listen without talking back-- whether quietly or loudly, and aren't much interested in getting along with brothers and sisters who invade their spaces. Now with this said, it would make sense that an adult wouldn't let children run the household unless he or she is ready to lose his or her mind behind all the chaos that is sure to follow in an unstructured household!
If you want peace in your home, especially during school breaks, you will have to schedule some activities that will busy the children, allow for separation between them, and overall manage their time well. Without putting in some time with them, you will have an increase in arguments between them, you and a partner, and whoever else that is living in the home.
Parents say they are busy doing one thing or another, but when children are ruling the house, the dishes can wait, meal preparation can be delayed, the phone and Internet can be put on hold. "Listen children, we are going to do some things today and I expect you to follow instructions, if not, you see everything in this room, I have boxes and bins that are all-too-ready to receive them!" A child doesn't want to hear that what they just received for their birthday or some other holiday might be given away, sold, or stored somewhere. When your children act up, a wise parent will act on his or her threat! Sometimes children don't sleep well, so a nap might help. Other times children are hungry and act out when stomach pains get the best of them. Sibling rivalries, irresponsible parents, insensitive relatives, an environment that is too hot or too cold, cluttered, or stinks of illness, can all contribute to misbehaving, unruly children.
Raising children doesn't have to be difficult, but we can make it so, by not taking authority over one's house and maintaining it. Further, this is why some relationships fail far too many people want freedom, but no one is willing to work to earn it. "I need time for myself...I don't understand why this house is so crazy...why do the children act that way? This is beginning to be too much, I'm outta here!" Have you done anything to try to rectify situations before picking up and leaving?
The spouse spends hours in front of a screen (any time of the day and night) without a care for his or her family and expects his family to remain intact. The children are in rooms together sometimes for many hours and no adult thinks that they will get tired of sharing space. Mothers over extend themselves and think that they are still nice to be around and attractive to their partners. Relatives, whether living in the home or out of it, can become more of a burden than a help with their frequent complaints, irrational story-telling, thoughtless remarks, or unreasonable demands.
Find various activities (not just video games) for the children that will keep them occupied in the home and when they are away visiting with family. Parents (and grandparents) get upset about children not listening and acting lazy, yet these same individuals will permit their children to spend much time playing video games. Many media outlets have reported that people become irritable when surfing the Internet, impatient and quick tempered when gaming, so it would make sense to break up the playing time and encourage the children to do different things by specifically mentioning what those things are. Adults will have to be proactive in the lives of the young people even when they "don't feel like it." You do want to keep your sanity, right?
Nicholl McGuire
Happy New Year. I seldom make New Year’s resolutions anymore (no more than
once a year!) but this year I made one and I’m determined to follow
through. It’...