Admittedly I didn't plan on becoming a mother, but I also didn't plan on the mean-spiritedness to follow when I broke the news to others that I was pregnant four different times in my life.
The disappointed and judgmental attitudes that showed up on the faces of divorced mothers, mothers who just had babies, mothers who had long ago had babies and the child-free was something I will never forget. What was wrong with these mothers? It wasn't like I was a child having a child and even if that was the case, being mean isn't going to help matters. Their words didn't sound like encouragement when they would say, "You pregnant? When did this happen? Why didn't you protect yourself? Don't expect me to watch your baby! Wow, I hope for the best...but what about..."
Mothers have to do a better job uplifting soon-to-be mothers. It's unfortunate that so many moms have had their share of bad experiences which I share in my book, When Mothers Cry, but at the end of the day, your relative or friend is a new mother-- one who has chosen to bring life in the world whether the time is right or not or whether they had the baby for right or wrong reasons.
I commend those grandmothers who step up to the plate and help their daughters and grandaughters during their pregnancy challenges. It can be such a lonely and depressing experience especially when one is pregnant by a partner who she doesn't like or love and has her share of regrets. Those "could have, should have" conversations don't matter when a baby is on his or her way. If anything, the words of wisdom should be about caring for one's child, coming up with additional ways to finance the needs of the child, and seeking parental resources.
With so much negativity already occurring in the world and more to come, if there is anything we should be positive about is life, ready or not.
Nicholl McGuire
