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My Reaction to 4 Pregnancies Discoveries at Different Time Periods in My Life

Baby What!? - 1999

Oh no, so not ready!  I am 24 but feel like I'm 18!  I have plans--lots of them!  This can't be happening.  God do something, you know I'm not ready!  I didn't want to have a baby right now and not with this guy--he was supposed to be a friend--(sigh).

Baby Why? - 2000

Yes, why?  What was I thinking isn't this the guy--my so-called friend--who I caught creeping (he had been cheating and hiding his pagers at the time--yeah I just dated myself).  So why did I use the calendar method again!?  I married him, I really married this guy, so this is supposed to make things alright?  Still pregnant...still settling.

Baby When? - 2006

Newly divorced, new life, new guy.  Uh oh, I think I remember when.  I felt odd that night after our love-making.  Something was different, I felt like I didn't like him much afterward.  Yep, I remember when (oh boy!) That reaction turned into "not now" I really didn't feel like I knew my new boyfriend that well. Besides, I met him on the Internet.  Were we ever going to take that trip we both planned?  Nope.  I think I feel sick.   Baby two was supposed to be the last one--stupid doctor knew I was out of it when he asked me about getting my tubes tied--he said a long name--hell, I didn't know what he was saying!  Of course I would have said yes! I am a bit angry...what's up with the red tape...Baby three was supposed to be it--but they couldn't perform the fallopian tube removal surgery that August, so back into my room I went, crying--money, money (sigh).  I can feel it, another baby in my future--I don't want a daughter, God.

How? - 2007

April 2007 expect to deliver baby December 2007, you gotta be kidding!  God we had this talk already.  Seriously, how?  I took 28 birth control pills for 28 days and was on my way to the CVS to get my refill when I noticed my stomach was a little puffier than usual.  Doctor said he put me on a low dose birth control pill since I was breast-feeding and I forgot about back up protection (sigh).  Dad's reaction (same father of "When?"), attitude, lots of attitude.  The next nine months was interesting to say the least--had last baby successfully.  Thank God, future pregnancy complications if I don't get surgery, says nurse--yes!  Fallopian removal surgery a success.  I told you I didn't want anymore children.  Four sons is enough, thank you Jesus!

Nicholl

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Check this out on Chirbit

Imperfect Mother, No Perfect Children - book excerpt Tell Me Mother You're Sorry by Nicholl McGuire

The dedicated daughter or son who tried over the years to be perfect in the eyes of her imperfect mother is desperate for compliments, adoration and other similar things, because these children got either too much praise from their self-righteous mothers or too little. These grown children hope, expect, and appreciate people showering their mother's with admiration. However, there is a side effect to all the outside attention that they don't like and don't want to put up with and that is the comparison statements that come afterward. “Everyone else thinks I'm a good mother... why don't you all?  Your friends appreciate me more than you!”

Connecting with your own stressed out mother can cause stress for you and your baby.

Her need of attention isn't worth a miscarriage.

Mrs. Perfect plays victim and the “My own children don't love me” card to guilt them. She felt disrespected, unappreciated, and didn’t feel she had a voice with her own mother, so now she expects her children to fill the void. She prides herself on her self-righteous act that is enabled through community involvement, job performance, degrees, and accolades. With so much going on with her, you can't tell her she can't do any wrong, but she can and she will. If only she could be honest with herself and those around her, the perfect act would be unnecessary. These women work far too much to build reputations and even harder to keep those around them in line. Too much work for such a short time to live on planet earth.

Try this simple exercise. Say, “I’m not perfect.” Now say it again. Say it like you mean it. What is happening on the inside every time you say this? If you are sincere, there should be a weight coming off of you. If not, and you still carry affirmations within that sound like you believe yourself to be right, perfect, always honest, and other similar thoughts, then not only did you read about someone you know, you just might be the one described previously dumping your false sense of self on to your children.

The next time someone points out one of your faults, notice how you feel on the inside, listen to the words that come out of your mouth, and watch how you and the individual react to one another. Those who look to be validated on their perfection, praised for their actions, wish to be the center of attention, and other related things, will defend, argue, act vengeful, and cause the one who is pointing out their flaws some degree of discomfort. Just like the mother who thought her self to be perfect, so to her daughter and son can’t stand to be wrong.

“You know you were wrong when you said…I disagreed with that part about…You might want to think twice about…You really hurt my feelings,” the wounded perfect mom will fight even when there is no fight with others. She will act as if she knew someone’s intentions when she really didn’t. “What did you mean when you said…? I’m not wrong, you are! What about that time when you…Don’t judge me!” Rather than simply correct the wrong, she makes a scene, lies or exaggerates, argues with people, talks badly about them, points out your faults, and anything else that will make her appear to be right. Didn’t her mother do those things to her when she pointed out her flaws? History has a way of repeating itself and not for the good either! Then when she realizes she is behaving just like her mother, the woman might humble her self and work toward change or keep up her act of perfectionism until someone calls her out.

Get your copy today, Tell Me Mother You're Sorry (eBook) by Nicholl McGuire

Printed version of Tell Me Mother You're Sorry here