When you have more than one child it can be overwhelming having children in your ears talking about all sorts of things. You try to be patient, listen, and provide feedback, but on some days all the talking can really push your buttons! Throw in conversation over the phone with relatives, while children hang around, interrupt or need your attention yet again for something and before long you might feel a headache coming on!
The other day I got hit with three different stories all at once coming from a teen and two elementary school-aged children. My sons were all excited about a myriad of school-related topics. So I found myself having to quiet two while one spoke and then repeat the action over and over again until I sent everyone to their rooms (sigh).
As
parents we are grateful for our children and do much for them, but on some days our heads are spinning, responsibilities can be burdensome, and before long you can't even hear the sound of your own voice in your head. "Now what was I supposed to do again?"
Keeping children mum about personal issues sometimes can be a bit stressful especially when some adults around the kids tend to act a bit too friendly. Taking the time to have a long talk with children about what is appropriate to say and not to say helps, but it doesn't guarantee that they will keep some topics to themselves. Unfortunately, there are consequences when children's mouths run faster than their feet. Nothing wrong with telling children to walk or run away and play with toys when adults are starting to ask questions that make them feel uncomfortable and you too!
Holiday events are filled with many activities and with that comes a lot of communicating between family and friends. If there is much going on within your
family and you are concerned about some things your children may or may not say, then reconsider leaving them alone with people or even attending an event. Sometimes parents put far too much pressure on children to keep their mouths shut about things when deep within they really want to talk.
I was one of those children who was always cautioned to keep quiet about all kinds of stuff even when I didn't feel like "personal business" the adults said and did around me wasn't that important. I would talk not realizing I was bribed at times by busybody kinfolk. They treated me quite nicely and I received my share of good gifts not so much because they loved me, but because some family members were able to get the information they wanted out of me. As a child I didn't understand why a few adults were so interested in members of my household. Many years later I learned they were a jealous bunch, who wanted certain material items from successful relatives, and didn't appreciate my family being so secretive. So what better way than to sock it to someone you don't like much, get to their children and find out stuff about them then use it against them later. That was how I was used as a pawn in their manipulative games. Check out
Tell Me Mother You're Sorry by Nicholl McGuire
Keep in mind children don't think like adults. They are typically very trusting, don't mean to hurt their parents, grandparents, and other members of the family by talking, and really don't want to get into any trouble.
Whatever you do, don't stress them out with all the keep quiet kind of talk, back off a bit and as I mentioned before if you are a private person and worry about what your extended relatives might learn about what goes in your household, then maybe it might be best to stay home this holiday season or keep the children ignorant about what you don't want getting out like how much you paid for something, where you went shopping, what you bought someone else, and more. The less children know about your "personal business," the better!
Nicholl McGuire Blog Owner and Author of
Should I Go to the Party?
