She tells you about everything she is into, shares about her children's achievements almost daily (especially on Facebook), mentions "what you ought to or should do" if she feels the least bit worried you are doing better than her. You realize the competitive Mom is competing with you, because for every one statement you make, she has three or four that sounds better than yours or worst depending on how she thinks.
Some mothers don't realize they are not making friends when they act in boastful ways. They don't bother to think how they make others feel when they dominate conversations talking about all they and children do. It isn't any wonder that most of their friendships come to a swift end.
When I first came across some competitive mothers, I didn't have any children at the time, so I couldn't relate to conversations where mother talks about what she has, where she has been and what her children are up to, etc. a mile a minute. But what I did hear in those boring conversations (for a young person back then) were jealous, insecure women who felt that they had to prove that they were "good," "better," "know better," etc. They were oftentimes jealous of others especially those of us (in the past) who had no children and was able to do much with our free time. At times these women were insecure, because their husbands hadn't validated them in years, so along comes attractive 20 something year olds and now they feel they had to teach the young people a thing or two. Now this was decades ago for me, but I remember those times.
Presently with four children of my own, married, and living each day like it's the last one, I have little patience for the braggarts. We might have parallel lives, but I'm not interested in playing a competitive game of who has it worst or who has it best. Can we just talk?
Nicholl McGuire is the author of
Tell Me Mother You're Sorry,
Say Goodbye to Dad, and other books.
