Handling Spiritual Trials with Ex Relatives

When They Say You Act Like Your Mother

Just when you thought you were your own person, independent, strong and free of parental programming, a long comes someone who knows your mother and out comes, "You act just like your mother..."  Depending on your relationship with her, you are offended by this comment.  You might retort, "Don't say that!  I am not my mother!"  The truth is we all have a little bit of our mothers and possibly grandmothers in us.  But we don't have to embrace all that comes with these women either!

Let's just say that you might say and do things that do remind others that you are your mother's child, and those ways are not good.  Then it would make sense to work to change them.  Talking to Mom everyday or visiting with her is not going to help you self improve.  Instead, what you will find is that the behaviors you don't like about your mother r yourself will only be reinforced.  If you don't want to be like someone, it would make sense to create some distance so that you can discover who you want to be and not what Mother says you should be.

When the voice of your mother shows up to criticize, abuse, control, or tell you about your new self n progress, tell that voice, "I will not receive that today...No, I am not going to do or say that...My mother would have, but not me..."  Practice redirecting your thoughts everyday.  Read items your mother would never look at, go places she wouldn't visit, see things she would turn her nose up at, broaden your horizons!

The next time someone says, "You act just like your mother!"  Respond with, "I might, but I am working to change that."

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Tell Me Mother You're Sorry on Blurb.com 

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There is More to Talk About Besides Being a Mother - Don't Want to Talk About the Kids

Sometimes as mothers we reach points during our day where we don't want to say another thing to our kids or talk about them to anyone not even our spouses.  It can be tiresome.  Some don't understand why and others think we want to hear about their kids.

If you have experienced something like this or feel this way now, "Please, I just don't want to talk about my kids..." don't worry you are not alone and it doesn't mean you love your kids any less because you don't want to share another picture, video, or conversation with someone about them for awhile.  Just like one can get burned out with talking about certain relatives, news, celebrities, and more, one can also get tired of talking about children.

I thought of this topic when I read an article about what childless or childfree women wanted mothers to know.  Some of these ladies have their issues with mothers talking to them about why they don't have children.  From the writing, you can detect a couple women just didn't want to keep talking about their private business.

So I end with this,  just because we all wear some kind of title such as: "Mother, Single Woman, Divorced, Married, Childfree, Childless..." doesn't mean we want to share every personal detail about it or answer every question that someone poses, especially on days when it is simply challenging enough being a woman.

Here's ideas on some alternative conversations that have nothing to do with children unless you redirect the topics back to your children.

1.  So how's things coming along with your job, hobby, craft, business, projects...?

2.  I heard about your spouse/friend/relative how is she/he?

3.  How do you feel?

4.  What have you watched lately on television?  Which shows are your favorite?

5.  Do you have any favorite songs, musicians?

6.  Where did you go recently to unwind or where are you thinking of going?

7.  Do you have any personal plans for the upcoming holiday?

8.  When was the last time you visited the mall?  Did you buy anything?

9.  What do you think of the (mention something that happened in the news)?  You didn't see it?  Let me catch you up to date?

10.  Have you been to (fill in the blank)?  If you would like to go, I'm free on....

Mom will thank you for the good conversation and getting away from the children sooner or later. God bless.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight about relationship, spirituality, family, business and more here.