Overachieving Moms Taking on Too Much - Doctor, Babysitter, Tutor, Wife, Cook, Worker...

Far too many women are irritable, impatient, rude, and uncaring as a result of taking on many roles.  The help just isn't there!  A husband or boyfriend isn't thinking much about his partner's roles and would prefer not to do much, because he enjoys taking it easy.


Those who are busy right now would love a little assistance, but it isn't coming, not because people don't care, but because they are busy with their own lives.  The mother thought that by signing a child up for yet another activity, she would be met with support.  She assumed her relatives would offer to assist her with planning a family get-together.  She believed she was doing a good thing by volunteering to help an organization meet their goals.  She hoped her boss would appreciate her efforts on the job and give her a raise.  But nothing ever goes as planned lately and so the once kind patient and sweet mom is often yelling, bitter, and blaming everyone for her short-comings.


When women come to the place where nothing seems to be going right, it is time to fall back.  Check your health.  Are you getting enough sleep?  Are you preparing and eating quality meals?  Are you giving yourself a break from a partner and children?  Are you involved in too many projects and the affairs of others?  There are time wasters in may lives, the kind that are not productive, dead-end projects, toxic partnerships, and more that do nothing more than put women on their backs in hospital rooms.  What are your time wasters?  What did you agree to or keep working at that is really producing next to zero results?


As much as I love doing some things at home and elsewhere, I realize that the place I am in right now in my life is not the time to do certain activities.  Although others will say things like, "You should..."  I am quick to say, "...not right now."  Family, friends, and co-workers don't know your life like you do.  If they are encouraging you to add more responsibilities on top of the ones you already have, they are doing nothing more than sapping your time, energy, money, and patience!  There is a time for everything, God knows what is happening around the corner and will use people, places and things to warn us.  Some reading this right now are headed nowhere while falsely believing they are headed somewhere.  Many parents select activities for their children that they always wanted to do when they were young; meanwhile, they are upset with children because they are not nearly as interested in the classes as much as they had hoped.  The disinterest is actually a blessing in disguise and one could save herself much money if she would cut her kids off of activities they have said, "I don't really like this...I am bored...Mom could I please be in something else!"  Sooner or later the cries of a child will come back to haunt the mother if she isn't too careful.


How many roles does one have to take on to be considered a good wife and mother?  Where is dad, granddad, great granddad, step-dad, teacher, guardian, or friend in all this?  So many moms buy love whether they realize it or not.  They do this by purchasing large gifts and doing much for the men in their lives, but how are these men repaying these moms?  Are they taking on a few roles or objecting every time they ask, "Would you?  Could you please?  I really need your help..."  If these male figures aren't helping, then why are they in a busy mom's inner circle?  Don't enable their television watching, Internet surfing, skirt-chasing behaviors, as well as other things by trying to be a super mom.  I think of one mom who said, "I stuck around for the children...I was stupid...I let that man run over me!" 


Maybe you saw that image growing up of mom doing everything (the butcher, the baker, and the candle-maker), but now you have your own life!  Are you expected to do it all?  Well, enjoy taking on these many roles, your body will tell on you later.  But for those of us who have learned the hard way, it's not worth it!


Divorce, cheating, sneaky behavior and more is what some spoiled men offer the moody woman who is overworked, tired, frequently away from the home due to work and volunteering, obese due to eating so much, and more.  Men look for pleasure elsewhere when performance at home is dismal whether it is through substance abuse or lying on their backs in a bed or seated in a car somewhere.  It doesn't matter how nice you organize the home, how clean you are, how much you do for the kids, if your mind is on everyone and everything else but him, you lose in the end.  Some men will stick around and remain faithful, but will give Super Moms hell during the process.  This type of negative attitude from so-called good men will give busy mothers no choice but to cross their men off the to-do list--time for a dose of your own medicine, separation or divorce.  She reasons, "I can do bad all by myself."


So do keep this in mind, taking on too much is not good for you or your family, overachieving mom!  It doesn't matter how much money you make, the perks, or anything else when hearts and minds are disconnecting from you!  Go into the new year with a shorter to-do list and a clearer mind.  Hug your kids, love-make with your man, and praise your Creator for what you did do this year.  Trust me, we all appreciate you, I know I do because you stopped long enough to read the words on this blog!


To your health, wealth and success in the new year!


Nicholl McGuire, author of When Mothers Cry. 

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When Mothers Cry Author Tells of Her Blogging Experience whenmotherscry.blogspot.com

Since the release of When Mothers Cry after typing my thoughts for awhile via the Internet, I can tell you that the response has been warm and the book well-received.  Despite the challenges I faced while trying to express my thoughts about motherhood via blog and book, I wrote and wrote anyway, forcing myself not to worry about the mistakes I made with children, the writing errors, and the negative people, places and things around me.  There are just some things you say and do that are considered by society's standards proper, professional, and productive.  However, those of us who have cried much and kept plowing right through life's storms will put aside what others say and think and just do what's right minus a few too many missing punctuations, well-established connections, and lack of cash.


My seven plus years blogging experience has been interesting to say the least.  I feel more knowledgeable of who I am as a mother and as an individual.  I realize that I really do value my quiet time, my children, and what life has to offer for us.  I noticed that when I felt very down about my role as a mother was due to being around far too many critical individuals.  The type of people who won't let you just be without a judgmental stare or a nasty comment.  Moms make mistakes, moms don't always like their roles, and moms love too even when their is no toy or fancy clothes budget for herself and children.


What I find since writing about my motherhood experiences that I find great is that there are many moms, just like me, who don't mind crying, fighting, and reaching out to an awesome God who we don't always understand.  But what I didn't anticipate or like, since blogging, was those family members who kept mum about their personal hardships and wanted to keep a façade of self-righteousness and a "I don't do any wrong when it comes to my children" front.  Oh, there is still much work to do!


Well I am glad to see progress in my life and not regress.  I hope that others are experiencing the same.  To your success mothers and thanks for supporting this blog and the book, When Mothers Cry.


Nicholl McGuire