Parenting Challenges

Baby, Career, Husband, and Everything else! When Over-the-Top Mom Wants it All Done Now

When is enough, enough for some moms?  When she has had a nervous breakdown, severe migraine, a death of a child, a divorce, a lost limb, or something far worse!  These mothers will go and go against all sound advice just to meet needs they think are important and need to be tended to right now. 

The baby is crying, the husband is complaining, and the job is demanding, and all the while career moms cry, "I'm okay, No really I'm fine.  I'm not worried...yes I need to go to the doctor, but..."

For some mothers, they will not live long, they just won't.  It doesn't matter whether she is No-name Nancy or A-list Jane, the two will find their spirits removed from their bodies while they walk around looking at what others are doing in a world they no longer belong to.  Why?  Because they believe that everything needs to be completed, dealt with, bought, created, and produced NOW!

Wild parties while parenting troubled children, some moms don't believe they should give up anything, "It's all about me!" Some boast.  If they want to do something as soon as possible, they will gather up everyone and everything to get it done while complaining about the dismal results.  Plans are not well-thought out, consideration of others' time and feelings fall on deaf ears, and unfortunately these extremely busy and wild mommies tend not to be the generous types when it comes to their own family.   Meanwhile, other moms, who may not be so busy but have their share of issues, live lives that if only their families knew, they would be disowned.  What these mothers have in common are: impatience, greed, self-indulgence, and most of all pride.  They love bragging about what they won't tolerate, settle for, deal with, or put up with including children and partners.

Money-loving, greedy mothers who just can't get enough of networking, working long hours away from home, spending much money on meaningless things, and being a part of this thing and that one, miss out on the most meaningful things in life.  What might they be?  Those quiet times where one doesn't need to do, buy, say, or plan anything, just observe.  Sit back and listen to one's Creator, enjoy good times without being the center of attention, and do something good for someone else without repayment.  But this is simply too much to ask of some mothers.  Even their own mothers have warned them, "Slow down.  Stop talking so much.  Stop doing all that.  Take a break.  Do better.  Make wiser decisions."  But stubborn, impatient moms let wisdom go in one ear and out the other.  If it doesn't make her look good, get her excited, and have a price tag on it, she ain't buying it! 

Partners have threatened to leave these over-the-top moms.  Children cry for their mother's attention, but she keeps right on traveling, having fun--just doing what she feels like when she wants.  This obsession with making one's self feel good derives from years and years of disappointments and not having any sense of control of one's own life, so she feels like anyone who comes in contact with her owes her something. 

During their lifetimes, some mothers permitted far too many people to run their lives in their youth, so once they reach an age where they feel in control, they go wild!  They are running around like chickens with their heads cut off!  They want to be the leader, supervisor, creator, producer, wife, mommy for the fifth plus time, and any other title they can get their hands on. 

Although it all seems so good in the beginning when their prayers seem to be getting answered, gradually all the "God did...but I still want...still need" becomes nothing more than a problem.  What the mother once called, "a blessing" becomes "a curse."  She is using far too many bad words to describe how she feels.  The disappointed "I need everything right now" mom finds herself resenting her married life and children.  When tough times present themselves, she wishes to be anywhere that makes her feel in control, fuels her fire, and makes her feel appreciated; hence, the long hours at work for starters.

If you are experiencing something like this or know someone who is, consider creating a plan that permits you to have more free time with those who really matter.  Sometimes the additional activities we get involved in take up so much time that we exhibit many negative feelings that have little to do with the family, and everything to do with the many tasks at hand.

Feel free to check out Nicholl's spiritual insight on a variety of subjects at YouTube http://www.youtube.com/nmenterprise7
 

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10 Reasons a Stressed Mother Needs to Separate from Children

Tired of having to put up with issues dealing with children?  Often worried that they may be taken from you?  Scared that someone might find out about your secrets through your children?  Whatever the issue, things only get worse, the more you drag children into your mess.  You will know when you need to make temporary arrangements with an individual or group to care for your children.

1.  You have no income coming in and no way to keep a roof over you and your children's heads on a consistent basis.

2.  You find yourself lying often about how you feel about your children.

3.  You can't control the rage within when they start crying, whining, fighting with one another, or having fits about doing something you asked them to do.

4.  You told someone something like, "If I ever catch my children doing XYZ again, I'm going to kill them."  Although they thought you were just venting, deep inside you meant what you said.

5.  You argue far too much with the father or fathers about the children living with him/them.  Why make threats?  Just let these guys deal with them since they think they know so much.

6.  You miss work so often to the point that you are going to lose yet another job as a result of child-related issues.

7.  The police have repeatedly visited your home because your children or someone in the neighborhood keeps calling them on you.

8.  You encourage your children to lie about abusive things you say and do to them.

9.  You are in a relationship with an emotionally and/or physically abusive man.  You make excuses for this person and refuse to let him go.

10.  Family and friends have warned you about the way you behave with your children and have offered their assistance--take it!

If you or someone you know sees all these signs and more that one should separate from children, why are you ignoring the warnings?  Sooner or later, whether willing or not, someone or some incident just might permanently separate a parent from children.

Something to think about.

Nicholl McGuire, see more by this writer on YouTube.