When Mothers Cry About Their Tempermental Children

I thought the following article was worth posting since there are many mothers with a cry related to their defiant children. I hope this helps some of you...

What to Do When Punishments, Time-Outs, and Behavioral Plans Do Not Work

Are you frustrated with the traditional methods of discipline that many parents, doctors and other parents suggest? There is another option. You can teach your child good behaviors without punishments, time-outs, and behavioral plans. It may sound too good to be true, but it isn't, it really does work.

So, what is this revolutionary discipline method? It begins with you the parent first. What you may ask? Before you can start to teach your child good behaviors, you must model them first. Sounds easy enough, right?

Now that you know you need to model good behavior, you need to learn how to be a good leader. When a child enters the home, you are instantly thrown into the role of a parent. A good parent needs to be a good leader. Leadership may not come natural to everybody, but that is okay. There are simple strategies a parent can practice that will help hone their leadership skills.

Learning how to communicate with your child is one of the most important skills you can learn. Verbal and non-verbal communication can help you develop a better relationship with your child, thus making it easier for you to teach them good behaviors.

Instead of listing a hundred things you do not want your child to do, you can tell them what you do want them to do. How is that for a change in parenting? Trying a new parenting method can only help you learn and grow as a parent.

Even if you have never tried any of these tactics, it is not too late. You can change your parenting style in just a few weeks. What have you got to lose?

Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child's out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?

To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: Free Audio Recordings.

Jason Johnson (MSW) has worked with hundreds of toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, Bi-polar, and SEVERE emotional/behavioral issues.

When Mothers Cry Things Change

If you don't have a cry, you don't have a passion, and when you don't have a passion you will let things go whether good, bad or otherwise.

I was angry recently at many things that seemed to come up one after another. I saw a vision one day of a woman who I assumed was a mother with two guns strapped to her side. I said to myself, "Imagine if she had those visible walking down the street. People would do whatever she asked." Sometimes that's the way you feel as a mother. If fear is going to get the job done, the you will use it with children and anyone else who doesn't want to do the right thing concerning your children.

Sometimes it takes a wake up call for people to listen. Sometimes the wake up call is good and other times not so good. Someone's child is murdered in your neighborhood, so you start looking out for your child moreso. Another parent dies young due to health issues that could have been prevented, so you try to do better caring for yourself.

Tears fall from our eyes for good reason. However, so many mothers let them fall in vain. Nothing happens afterward in their personal lives. They keep people in their inner circle that don't mean them well. They bad-mouth instead of taking action. They distance themselves from good people, while hanging on to the bad ones. They take hard-earned money out of their bank accounts that was meant for their children to fulfill their husband or boyfriend's immediate needs. They cry and cry and cry some more, but nothing changes!

Maybe that's why some women grow old prematurely. The crows feet come up practically overnight. There is no release in their spirit other than tears. They moan and groan. Their relatives and friends don't understand. "Why do I feel this way?" The mother cries. "Why can't I get things right with my children?" The grandmother sobs. "Why do I keep making the same mistakes?" The working mother screams. These are real issues that produce real cries and if nothing more than tears comes from these situations and others like them, then expect more tears!

Nicholl McGuire is the creator of this blog and author of When Mothers Cry located on Amazon.com You can follow her tweets at http://www.twitter.com/motherhoodtips

Your Mother's Love

While you were still inside your mother's womb, you breathe and eat because of her. Everything that you do is connected to the sole provider of life - your mother. Within nine months, your mother carries you and provides for your physical and emotional needs, withstanding the pain, stress, and difficulties she is going through.
Most women find completeness when they bear a child. But when does a mother's love starts? Some are so excited to become a mother and like the feeling of having a child so soon. Their excitement leads them to love the activities that have to do with motherhood like searching for the best name, preparing for the baby clothes, the baby things, and the nursery. They are preoccupied with planning and discussions about how to prepare and become a mother. In the early stage of discovering and confirming pregnancy, some would accept the child but others may be on denial. Eventually they will learn to accept the child and as each day goes by they create the most unique bond, a mother's love for her child.
You all came from one being - your mother. That's technically speaking as it was your mothers who raised you from conception. Your mother nourished, and endure all the pain and discomforts while you were still inside their womb. When it was your time to come out and see the world, she sacrificed and nearly put her life at stake. She is willing to offer her life for you, she is willing to lose it in exchange for you so that you will be given the chance to see the world and experience its beauty.
As you grow day by day, your mother was there to guide you, molding your heart to be pure and giving you the tender loving care. Consider yourself fortunate if you have been with your mothers to share your everyday journey and endeavors in life, and have the chance to feel her presence. Communication holds the key to any relationship and conversing with one another can be beneficial because listening and understanding is another aspect of a bond. But to some who have been separated from their mothers because of work and other obstacles, a mother's unexpressed love for many years and the bond for her child will always be there awaiting to be unleashed and reunited.
Wherever you go and whatever separates you from your mother, you will always search for her presence because nothing can explain the need and security you feel when you are in her arms. She gives you the strength you need and the light you seek. Her words of encouragement and caressing hands are no match than anyone closest to you. She can wipe away your tears and ease your fears. That is the bond that holds you together. That is the devotion she has for you. It is far beyond defining your mother's love. Don't take her for granted. Your mother is the first person in your life and nobody can ever replace her. Give her due respect.

Janet Grace Ortigas is a freelance writer and online blogger

When Mothers Cry About Leaving Their Partner

It's happening everywhere! Mothers are not interested in playing mom or wife. They want out! There is simply too much pressure to be everything to everybody! But it doesn't have to end with mom running out the door carrying a box or two in hand with car keys and plans to drive away and never look back! Something can be done! Something must be done!

If it ain't broke don't fix it.

In relationships we tend to look for things wrong when there isn't really anything of major importance wrong. But watching the soap operas, listening to your friend's drama, playing some sad oldies, and thinking way too deeply about something you have read, will surely make you think things that just aren't true. When you are feeling insecure, creating dramas that are imagined, and scaring your partner away with all your questions, its time to change your habits and hobbies -- how about stop feeding into everyone else's drama?

What you don't know won't hurt you.

Is it really necessary to know everything that is going on with your partner at work, with his relatives and friends, and wherever else his feet tread? Let's just say he does have a history of cheating. If you suspect he is still up to no good, why worry yourself any longer? Do what you must to break free. But if he isn't, then you need help sister! There are things that men will do that will make their wife or girlfriend frown, but if you don't want to be upset on a daily basis, stop snooping, stop asking and just be sure you aren't doing anything to make him distrust you!

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!

So you argued with your partner and some other things too embarrassing to breathe to anyone you know occurred. Can you honestly say that it is time to call it quits? People make mistakes all the time. People say things they don't mean. These things are normal, but what isn't is being beaten, stabbed, punished verbally or physically over and over again -- these things are usually unforgivable for most normal people. However, those little things, the ones that you know you need to work on trying to do better, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again!

When you and your partner both know its simply not feasible to break up emotionally and/or financially, and when you both know that the timing doesn't look or feel right, stick it out! Be as polite as you can, make love as much as you can, and try real hard to smile when you rather frown. Don't give up over petty things. Do talk about what makes you angry and if you need a third party, then find someone for yourself that may help you before you suggest going to counseling together!

May God bless...

Nicholl McGuire is the creator of this blog and author of When Mothers Cry, Amazon.com You can follow her tweets at @nichollmcguire.

When Mothers Cry for their Children's Innocense

I was upset when I first realized that my children were coming home making weird, annoying sounds from daycare grating on my nerves and it seemed I had to of-ten tell them to stop. Then later I became irate to learn from my sons that some nasty boys and girls had decided to share with the daycare class a reenactment of what goes on behind their parents closed doors. I assumed from the details either my son’s friends saw something through a cracked bedroom door, someone’s open blinds, or accidentally saw a movie they shouldn’t have. I was enraged when I found out that two of my children as a result of looking at a couple of their classmates “show and tell” display were open to some games of discovery with little girls who didn’t know any better or was far too willing to try something new. Luckily, my children have myself and other family members who talk as well as discipline them for any misconduct.

Parents can usually tell if their children are get-ting out of line by what they say before they do anything. Yet, in the back of my mind, I wondered if my sons were ever tempted again would they remember what their father and I told them. Would they remember the punishment that they had received before giving into any future tempting situation?

This issue of childhood innocence is becoming less and less with each passing decade. I personally believe childhood innocence ends the day you let someone other than yourself watch your children. No one is as careful as a good mother. She will notice when something isn’t right with her children. The moment she suspects something isn’t right she will start investigating any and everyone. From the teacher to the superintendent, everyone is suspect including the father. She will ask questions, conduct searches, interviews, and set traps. She will leave no stone unturned. She demands names, “Who told you that? Who is Jimmy? Where does Cindy live?” A mother has zero tolerance for lies and cover-ups. She will risk her freedom, if it means that a good spanking will set the record straight. Some mothers do not want to face the reality that their children’s child-hood innocence was lost days, months, even years ago! They want everyone to believe their children had nothing to do with the writing on the wall, the theft, the fight, the rape, or even the murder. “My son would never…my daughter couldn’t…” Someone did it so it might as well have been your child, my child or someone else’s child. When the man or woman in uniform arrives at a mother’s doorstep, a mother can no longer shield her eyes from the trouble standing before her. It is a devastating truth for her when she realizes her baby did it and no one else is to blame!

As for the other meaning regarding this chapter’s title, it describes a child’s innocence even when he or she is falsely accused. The young man, woman or child has done nothing wrong, yet society still punishes a mother’s son or daughter despite the facts. There is the mother who cries for her child who is suspended from school, even though he was not at the scene of the crime. In another part of town, there is the mother who cries for her daughter who is arrested for shoplifting even though she has nothing on her. These are children who may or may not have been at the wrong place at the wrong time, and no one seems to care but mother!

While society screams, “Your child had to be guilty of something!” All she can do is say, “It wasn’t my child!” There are mother’s who cry tears every time they have to visit their innocent child in jail. Her heart screams, “My child doesn’t belong here!” She wants justice to be done for her child, just as it was done for the many other children of mothers seen on television and read about in print. Yet, it doesn’t happen for her child and she can’t help but grieve daily. “Why God? Why my child?”

I saw the grief on a relative’s face when her child was wrongly accused of a crime he didn’t commit. I saw the pain on my ex-boyfriend’s mother’s face when he had been falsely accused. How could these women fight against judges that were up for re-election, witnesses with foggy memories, and a legal aid organization that promised to help, but didn’t deliver? Mothers cry for different reasons, but by far the loudest cry is coming from the mother whose child is innocent. All she wanted to do was raise her child to be a productive member of society, but someone or something took that away. Many mothers age rapidly with this kind of stress. It is absolutely mandatory they have a faith, support system and counseling when they are faced with these kinds of issues. Without all three, some part of the mother’s being will die mentally, physically and/or spiritually.

This is an excerpt taken from the book When Mothers Cry by Nicholl McGuire, from Chapter 19 entitled, "When Mothers Cry for their Children's Innocense."