How to Overcome Jealousy

Overcoming jealousy is important to all healthy relationships. Jealousy usually stems from feelings of inadequacy in the person experiencing the emotion. While there are, of course, times when people are certainly justified in feeling jealous a good portion of the time there is not valid cause.

It's usually necessary to look to one's self-esteem to pinpoint exactly why you are feeling jealous, as the problem 90% of the time is with yourself. That's actually good news, though - it means it can be fixed and you can stop feeling miserable.

The Root of the Evil

The green-eyed monster is generally a symptom of other deep-rooted problems within people. The less self confidence a person has and the more their self image needs improvement the more easily feelings of jealousy creep in even in innocuous situations. This happens because people will feel that they do not deserve the other person, the position at work, the praise, etc. While there will always be some times where feelings of envy are justified, you can fight the feelings when they are unjustified.

Keep a Cool Head

Whether you are experiencing feelings of jealousy in a personal or professional setting, losing your cool will not help the situation. If something happens that begins to churn up those emotions, wait. Step back outside of yourself for just a moment. Look at the situation after allowing some time to breathe.

Did someone at work get a promotion based on your work or did your husband come home with lipstick on his shirt? Then allow the feelings. They are totally justified! However, if a coworker actually deserves their promotion based on their merit, or your husband mentions that an unattainable actress is pretty, then breathe deeply and let it pass.

Communicate Effectively

When you are consistently feeling jealous, and have already checked to be sure that you are maintaining a clear and accurate view of the situation, then perhaps the thing making you jealous may need to be addressed. Chances are that your emotions are not being played with and that perhaps the other person simply is not aware of how you are reacting. Talk to them in a calm manner and not at a time when you are actually feeling jealous. Explain, without blaming, how certain actions or words make you feel. Offer a solution, "If you were to do/say X rather than Y, I would feel differently." Be open to feedback from the other person!

Eyes on Yourself

The more you focus on creating your own sense of self worth and strengthening all of your personal characteristics, the more you will find that jealousy will fall by the wayside. When you develop a healthy self respect, it can perform wonders in your life. You will not tolerate situations where jealousy is actually valid; you will remove yourself from the situation. You will know that your abilities and merits are worthy of thought and consideration from others and that your own self confidence will inspire them to treat you with respect. You will soon learn to disregard that which is petty and not let it have an effect on how you feel.

Reinforcements

All that you need to overcome jealousy is inside of you. It is not an external factor that will change your perception-a new dress does not make you feel less jealous of an inattentive spouse! The more strength you have, the weaker feelings of jealousy will be. Focus your thoughts and actions on building your own positivity and it will be no more difficult to overcome feelings of weakness and jealousy than it would be to overcome a battalion of toy soldiers.

Zoltan Roth is a native Hungarian teacher who resides in the United States. His passion is to help people around the globe to discover their enormous mental potential to create a happy, peaceful life we all deserve. For more information please visit his website at http://www.selfesteem2go.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Zoltan_Roth

Racism: An Ongoing Cry

I have been called the n word repeatedly over the years because I was supposed to sit quietly and not voice my opinion in the classroom, in the newspaper and now on the Internet. There are people who don't like you because you don't look like them. It doesn't matter how successful, pretty, handsome, who you know, in their eyes, you will always be whatever their parents told them to call you.

What makes me shed angry tears, you know the kind that if anyone is near they might get caught with one of your blows or something might go flying, is that my four sons will one day be called the n word too. Born into an evil, weird, scary, and violent world, my innocent children don't know what is ahead -- God they just don't know!

Now I talked to God, I asked him years ago, in fact I pleaded with him to make something happen so that I wouldn't have children, that's a dangerous request isn't it? But a neighbor of mine told me that is what she did and she has no regrets. I talk more about this in my book When Mothers Cry on Amazon.com.

Racism whether bold or covert is an evil designed to belittle, abuse and eventually twist the mind of the hearer so that all they see in the mirror is just what someone calls them.

As a mother and an African American, the journey is long and at times difficult: to win friends, to talk about your woes, to listen to others without wondering if they have a hidden agenda, and on and on.

You may come from a race that is looked down upon as well. Allow the anger that you feel for every time someone gives you that look, writes something insulting, or whispers negatively behind your back that you are everything that they are not, a strong woman who isn't afraid to stand by her beliefs, protective of her children until death, and will not hesitate to fight in court!

Nicholl McGuire
http://spiritualpoemsbynicholl.blogspot.com

Behind Every Successful Husband...

When I surf the Internet I see many successful entrepreneurs who are primarily male. I also see alot of men writing about women's interests too. So I gathered from seeing these things that behind every one of those men who brag about what they know and how much money they make that there is a wife, girlfriend or ex somewhere in the mix watching the children, cleaning the house, cooking, and working outside the home (and in many cases making more money than he!)

I will be the first to admit that I am not always following biblical principles and I do covet the life of a man on occassion. He usually has enough time in his day to do the things he loves whether it is to perform well at his job (stay late, travel, go to nice restaurants, entertain important people, etc.) However, when you are a mother who spends the majority of time with your children, you don't have the kind of time to be a five star performer, you are lucky that you don't burn the toast because you are trying to multi-task.

Mothers fight for their time. But fathers, most anyway, don't do much fighting, they just turn on the television, hang out around the watercooler on weekdays after 5 p.m. (when they should be thinking about getting home to help his wife), and leave out the home to shop uninterrupted while mom is in the other room tending to the children.

So when these family men boast about all their wonderful accomplishments, I know that behind that successful man is a mother who allowed him the free time to achieve his dreams. I can only hope that he can step out of the limelight long enough to help her with the children, so that she too can be equally successful. However, there is a price to pay for those so-called family men who don't know how to pull away from the computer, leave their jobs at a decent hour, and communicate where they are going for long hours at a time. Putting aside her motherhood role, a woman will get tired of being taken for granted and if a tear shall fall from her eye in the midst of her frustration with her man, she will eventually talk about leaving, if she hasn't already, to pursue her own dreams -- its only a matter of time.

Mothers appreciate a good man when you have him and train the one whose bad. (Training doesn't always mean living with him or talking into the wee hours of the morning either.)

Be blessed.

Nicholl McGuire
http://parentsbabieschildren.blogspot.com

8 Reasons Moms Dread Holiday Parties

So now that the holidays are here everyone gets invited to people's houses for parties and gatherings. I dread this every time and usually don't RSVP because I'm scared to commit to going.

First of all..can I even make it on time with both kids?

Second..I have to pack almost everything they sell at Babies R Us if I'm driving far away

Third..again if I'm driving far away..will I have to pull over to feed the baby or change either childs diaper? (Last time I did that a cop knocked on my window and told me it was illegal to do that) I guess next time I should just do it while driving then officer?!

Fourth..is the party at a late time and my kids are expecting a bath and bedtime? If so they probably won't be on their best behavior and childless people may deem them "wild kids"

Fifth..is the place I'm going baby proofed? Usually not and there are almost always some stupid crystal cat collections displayed or tea sets right where my toddler and baby can reach

Sixth..will other kids be there? If not than I know my kids will get bored and into trouble and this probably means the house won't have toys for them to play with either

Seventh...is it even worth it? If I'm going to be chasing after two little ones and constantly saying "no!" and can't hold an adult conversation then why bother

Eight..I'm also not a fan of chasing toddlers in heels, give me back my Juicy Tracksuit!

Why not get a sitter you ask? Because my mom and mother in law are usually invited to the same parties. Ugghh the stress! I'd rather go to the park and call it a day.

Audra Rozen aka Milfy Mom @ http://www.diamondsanddirtydiapers.blogspot.com

Poem: an Example of a Loving Mother
Sometimes we forget about the good memories of a mother's love. This poem reminds us of the good times.
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