My Head Was Going to Pop Off!

There was so much going on from the phone ringing to spills on the floor, the four boys were having disagreements with one another one after the other. I was trying to make meals, delegate chores, help another paint, and separate two crying toddlers and that's when it happened--pressure rising in my head!

I headed to the bathroom and could barely let a deep breath out. My mind was letting me know we are about to take a vacation again. The last time I felt this much pressure, a panic anxiety attack came out of nowhere and there I sat frozen staring at my children! I couldn't talk, walk or anything. Months later, I was the butt of one of my son's jokes. "Glad you think its funny," I told my class clown. "But what if I didn't come out of that one, did you ever think of that?" The laughing stopped. "It's just that you looked so funny..." He must have noticed a strange look on my face that said, "Just walk away while you still have the chance."

Living in the house with all penises (I mean boys) can get next to you as the only woman of the house! There are the urine stains that show up soon after you just disinfected the toilet, the new pubic hairs that my middle son wants me to "check out," the references to itching and adjusting--"Do I really want to hear or see all of this?" I told the same son who thinks that panic anxiety is "too funny," "You are getting too old to call me into the bathroom to check out your penis issues, see a doctor." He laughed. One day he will make some woman proud.

I tell you, the joys of parenting, I see them few and far in between. The other day I was ready to ask anyone on the street, "You want to watch my kids?" Of course, I didn't, because it was anyone on the street--might not go over too well with the Mister.

I just don't get it, why all the crying with the little ones whenever you ask them (even nicely mind you) to clean up your toys and get ready to eat or put your shoes on we are going out (last I checked kids enjoy going out.) Sometimes I just don't know...

Nicholl McGuire