My Cheat Sheet for the Teen Years: My Diaries

During the winter school break, I was cleaning out my closet and came across my diaries. I kept quite a few dating as far back as nine years old, I am now in my mid-thirties.

I flipped through a few of my books decorated with my pen scribblings and that's when I came across my tween years into teen years. You gotta love it, a typical rebellious teen! Entry after entry cussing about the parents, loving a boy one minute, hating another the next. There were the back-stabbing b*tches I couldn't stand to look at much less sit in the same class with. There were the entries that talked about unexpected colds and PMS cramps that kept me home when I had rather be socializing with my friends via my numerous extracurricular activities like running track, Student Council, the student newspaper, and the school choir.

I admit I was an angry teen for the most part beginning around the tween years at about age 11. Why? Because my parents were strict! There was no living the typical teen life in their household. When I began to find the assertive me as my breast developed more and my voice changed, my mother accused me of "sniffing" myself. An old school term typically used in the black community that pretty much meant one thing, "you like them boys!" This meant I wouldn't be visiting any one's home, riding on public transportation with friends, allowed to watch school sporting events, and I definitely wouldn't be allowed to have a boyfriend (publicly, but I still had one or two anyway despite parental warnings) until 17 years! When those very observant, wise mothers took one look at me when I was about 15, they knew I had a boyfriend back then, but you couldn't tell my mother that! "My daughter has no boyfriends! And I resent you suggesting that..." she told one who just smiled and gave me a wink when mom was looking.

I think the parents who have the worse time with their teens, like those I recall complaining about my friends and I when we were young, were those that allowed themselves to be out of touch with what it means to be a teen. They chose to forget the times they mumbled under their breath to mom and/or dad when they didn't want to do anything. They have selective memory when it comes to lying and stealing. And they have amnesia when it comes to the things they did behind their parents back that would have shamed them if only mom and dad knew!

At first I thought about tossing those old diaries, but I changed my mind, because I believe they will come in handy when my son hits 13 in less than two years. For I will look back at the things I said about my own parents who clearly didn't understand me and remind myself, "Remember what you did...remember how you felt..." and just maybe those old books will bring me a tad bit of peace.

To all you mothers out there fighting the good fight with your teens, I commend you. Do look back on your own years, remind yourself, you turned out alright through all the rebellion, misconduct, disrespect, etc.

God bless.

P.S. Take advantage of herbal supplements, prescription medicines, and vitamins they can help a hormonal teen especially one with a lot of acne--I'm a witness!

My Head Was Going to Pop Off!

There was so much going on from the phone ringing to spills on the floor, the four boys were having disagreements with one another one after the other. I was trying to make meals, delegate chores, help another paint, and separate two crying toddlers and that's when it happened--pressure rising in my head!

I headed to the bathroom and could barely let a deep breath out. My mind was letting me know we are about to take a vacation again. The last time I felt this much pressure, a panic anxiety attack came out of nowhere and there I sat frozen staring at my children! I couldn't talk, walk or anything. Months later, I was the butt of one of my son's jokes. "Glad you think its funny," I told my class clown. "But what if I didn't come out of that one, did you ever think of that?" The laughing stopped. "It's just that you looked so funny..." He must have noticed a strange look on my face that said, "Just walk away while you still have the chance."

Living in the house with all penises (I mean boys) can get next to you as the only woman of the house! There are the urine stains that show up soon after you just disinfected the toilet, the new pubic hairs that my middle son wants me to "check out," the references to itching and adjusting--"Do I really want to hear or see all of this?" I told the same son who thinks that panic anxiety is "too funny," "You are getting too old to call me into the bathroom to check out your penis issues, see a doctor." He laughed. One day he will make some woman proud.

I tell you, the joys of parenting, I see them few and far in between. The other day I was ready to ask anyone on the street, "You want to watch my kids?" Of course, I didn't, because it was anyone on the street--might not go over too well with the Mister.

I just don't get it, why all the crying with the little ones whenever you ask them (even nicely mind you) to clean up your toys and get ready to eat or put your shoes on we are going out (last I checked kids enjoy going out.) Sometimes I just don't know...

Nicholl McGuire

Being Open to Everything, Wasn't Good for Me

In 1999 I had my first child and if there was one thing I learned it was, "I was no longer open-minded once I became a mother." My "all paths lead to Christ, pro-choice, sexually immoral, cursing like a sailor, partying in the club self" that had slowed down prior to my firstborn's birth was absent by the time he was born!

You see, I couldn't very well maintain a certain lifestyle and call myself a "mother." For some moms, there's nothing wrong with doing any of these things n(in moderation they claim, but just wait until their children do it,) because well they are still very much open-minded. It's okay in some moms' worlds to accept just about anything when outside the home talking in groups, but let "anything" show up at the door and now she has boundaries. "I don't want my son hanging around him...my daughter will not be seen with him...I don't want my children around those people!" I guess she isn't so open-minded after all, huh?

I had befriended every sexual orientation under the sun offline prior to my days of being a believer and having a child even visited a club or two. There are some people in my social networks right now, both family and friends, who still live that lifestyle. The difference from the past and now, they know where I stand. I am not as open-minded as I once was and don't mind fighting for truth! Yet, this society of openness doesn't want us to have any boundaries, morals, absolute truths, even rules. They shut you out of certain circles if you take a stand on immoral behaviors. They call you names if you try to expose errors in so-called truths. They threaten your family. They attempt to delete you and your views clear off the Internet!

Our society has a bunch of robotic people brainwashed to make us act in ways that elitists want us to act--law abiding, quiet folk who mind their own business. Ever wonder why our government provides so many things on TV, the Internet, and on the radio? There are those that don't want you coming out of your homes unless you are working or entertaining yourself indoors-distractions! If you don't spend much time studying various brainwashing techniques, you wouldn't know that even you have been brainwashed to buy into a certain belief, purchase a certain product or service, or say and do certain things to further someone else's cause.

There is something about having children that snaps you back into reality! That makes you think less about your self and more about them. You re-learn what it means to love. You rediscover who you are as a woman and what you really want to do with the rest of your life. You are very critical of yourself. And of course, you are concerned about you and your family's image.

Nicholl McGuire












Nicholl McGuire

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