Make Life Easy for Yourself During the Holidays

It is already stressful enough family visiting, holiday shopping, working a job or possibly a second, cooking, cleaning, and you know the rest.  So why not make your life easy this holiday season by doing the following?

1) Delegating responsibilities.  Do you have to be the one to do everything for everyone?  Assign tasks to those in your family who can manage.  Show them how to do things as much as you can until they get them right.

2)  Avoid the holiday celebrating at your home.  If you know you are simply too busy with other things avoid entertaining at your residence.  Plan to go out and let relatives know in advance to chip in.  If you must, collect money in advance.

3) Seek to reach a compromise with your spouse.  When issues arise, choose the higher road, rather than argue until you are blue in the face.  Ask yourself, "Is what he or she requesting/wanting/doing that serious?"  When your partner doesn't want to compromise, you don't have to be the one to go along with his or her program unless of course, you want to.  Don't be used or abused this holiday season! Check out Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

4)  When in doubt, sit this one out!  It can be quite the challenge to organize, help, and encourage others, but when doubts, fears, worries, and stress are getting the best of you, address the area of confusion then take time for you to collect your thoughts, reenergize, etc. even if it means checking into a hotel for a night or two.

5)  Keep noise down in your home especially when you or someone is ill.  You can do that by choosing gifts for children and adults that are quiet this year.  Purchasing noise cancellation headphones along with gifts.  Meeting the needs immediately of whining children and difficult kin.  Cautioning those relatives who are simply too loud or just not inviting them to your next family gathering.

6)  Watch your spending or opt out of gift-giving when you are simply strapped for cash.  Many moms feel intense pressure (sometimes to the point of tears) to do for others while dads hold on to their cash tightly and sit down and watch their favorite programs on TV or elsewhere.  Why be the one to pay and decorate?  Why prepare and serve?  Why plan and visit?  Why organize and clean?  Why do more than your emotions, time, and energy can handle?

7)  Lastly, when you suffer from the symptoms of PMS, PMDD, perimenopause or some other woman related illness, do yourself and others a favor and retreat.  When you feel better, you will treat others better.

Nicholl McGuire

Like It or Not She's a Mother

For the mother who is having a hard time parenting her own children, she can either be a blessing or a curse to a relative or friend's life who is expecting.  Her occasional negativity, criticism, frustration, and anger about being a parenting can reign on the unsuspecting's parade.  Yet, one has to rise above the scorned woman and look beyond the negative scope of her views.

Admittedly I didn't plan on becoming a mother, but I also didn't plan on the mean-spiritedness to follow when I broke the news to others that I was pregnant four different times in my life.

The disappointed and judgmental attitudes that showed up on the faces of divorced mothers, mothers who just had babies, mothers who had long ago had babies and the child-free was something I will never forget.  What was wrong with these mothers?  It wasn't like I was a child having a child and even if that was the case, being mean isn't going to help matters.  Their words didn't sound like encouragement when they would say, "You pregnant?  When did this happen?  Why didn't you protect yourself?  Don't expect me to watch your baby!  Wow, I hope for the best...but what about..."

Mothers have to do a better job uplifting soon-to-be mothers.  It's unfortunate that so many moms have had their share of bad experiences which I share in my book, When Mothers Cry, but at the end of the day, your relative or friend is a new mother-- one who has chosen to bring life in the world whether the time is right or not or whether they had the baby for right or wrong reasons.

I commend those grandmothers who step up to the plate and help their daughters and grandaughters during their pregnancy challenges.  It can be such a lonely and depressing experience especially when one is pregnant by a partner who she doesn't like or love and has her share of regrets.  Those "could have, should have" conversations don't matter when a baby is on his or her way.  If anything, the words of wisdom should be about caring for one's child, coming up with additional ways to finance the needs of the child, and seeking parental resources.

With so much negativity already occurring in the world and more to come, if there is anything we should be positive about is life, ready or not.

Nicholl McGuire

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