From the father who finds his electronics more significant than his kids to the unavailable, soon-to-be dad who strikes up conversations with young women in stores (knowing full well his pregnant woman is waiting outside in the car), some Dads are masters at charming the public too while hiding their dark sides (check out my book Say Goodbye to Dad). These slick good guys will stare at eye candy in the hopes of getting some attention. Then they will follow up their looks with icebreakers they think their targets would like to hear--sometimes with family in tote. What do they care? Once again, these men aren't concerned about their lady friends, girlfriends, lovers, children, or spouses that are nearby or elsewhere waiting on them. I have seen this play out many times when attending family reunions, church events, birthday celebrations, outings at the mall, and even while sitting in the car as a child with my cousins waiting for one of my uncles.
Charming men dismiss their devious thoughts and ways as "just flirting...I treat all the ladies like this...I'm just a man, I'm not Jesus...Every man does it." Yet, Mr. Public Charmer turns into Mr. Abuser if his partner behaves like him, doesn't do what he says, and is frequently exposing him on his foolish behaviors. Sometimes the scheming, toxic man gets a dose of his own poison. "Why is she spending so much time talking to that man? She sure is doing a lot of smiling. Let me go over here and see what's going on. She knows I will hurt her about that..." the hot-tempered man tells loved ones. If Daddy Charmer is separated or divorced from a wife or girlfriend he may nitpick about who she (or other lovers) is seeing and what men are around his children since their breakup. "Why do you need to know?" His former partner asks. "Woman, I can ask you whatever I want! You want me to give you another a$$ whippin' like before?" the angry man retorts. "See, that's why we broke up! You always want to jump on me when you're mad!" his girlfriend yells.
Daddy Charmer goes on with his life, but not his victims without a fight. Some of these men end up being stalkers on and off the Internet. They harass their women with phone calls, unannounced visits, frequent places they go, badmouth them to others, and sometimes enlist the help of friends to watch their exes. This is why many mothers end up leaving the state with children or leaving them behind with their fathers. It is a headache living with these men and after a breakup; sometimes it takes years before you can make the headaches go away.
Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men by Nicholl McGuire
Get the book today and hopefully you just might save yourself or someone you love from an emotionally and/or physically abusive man!
Today my son asked, “is there anyone here, obviously not you, mom, who is
good at math?†Immediately, I took offense because we are in the middle of
a p...
