There are mothers in jail crying because they shortened the life of a spouse, children or even a loved one, because of a child's misdeeds. These women lost it--went mad, became afraid and defended their selves, or went through some kind of dilemma that they felt gave them no choice but to hurt another human being permanently.
"Never say what you will never do and never be too sure that all those around you are mentally stable," I thought after being tested one day by one of my children. If it wasn't for my faith, I can boldly say, I don't know where I would be today.
As children get older, they grow bolder in what they say and do. You can only pray that God keeps his hand on your mouth and a hand on your shoulder. From deep sighs to yelling, you recall those days you sacrificed much for your children and then the nerve of them...
I have listened to the stories of mothers who didn't take what their children did and said lightly especially when they acted in ways that were downright wrong! They usually end their stories with something like, "Those kids are lucky I didn't kill them...They should be grateful I'm not in jail because of them..."
When one is tempted to lose it, you can do some things only if you are able to before things get too bad:
1. Remove whatever you have in your hand. Place it away from you and child.
2. Walk out the door, get some fresh air, sit and talk with a trusted loved one or friend.
3. Get out of the room that the violation took place. The longer you stay, the more frustrated you will become.
4. Avoid discussing the issue with a spouse/partner/another child that is uncaring, moody, tired--especially when you are emotional. Chances are you and that person will get into an argument about the one who has offended you.
5. Put on headphones. Shutting the problem out allows you time to think clearly before reacting.
6. Stop cooking--you don't want to cause a fire.
7. Pull the car over--you don't want to cause an accident.
Someone shared with me that a relative would clean when she was stressed, this way she didn't ponder too long about what her children did. She said, "She would spank their behinds, then continue to clean. There was no yelling...she just sang to herself." The issue was done, over with--unfortunately far too many mothers run issues into the ground with long rants making it difficult for them and those involved to calm down. The key is to say what you need to say, do what you need to do as quick as possible. If your child should challenge you, remind the smart mouth there is a place for him/her and you called jail (juvenile detention center for children), then ask, "Would you like to go?"
Worse case scenario, call a relative who might have better control over your children and/or the police before you do something that might cause much heartache--especially if you have violent, disrespectful children or an uncaring spouse/partner.
Nicholl McGuire
