On Raising Teens, Children

Back when I first started this blog, "When Mothers Cry," I was a parent of a baby, a toddler, a tween, and a soon-to-be teen.  Now that I have moved out of pre-school years into elementary school years with two boys, and am observing a middle school boy and a high school boy, I can't help but wonder sometimes, "Am I doing what is in the best interest of my children?"

There are many dynamics that play a part when it comes to raising teens from what you say and what you do to what others are doing and not doing.  Then of course in between we have teachers, peers, and anyone else with a covert or overt agenda.  I pray more nowadays and sincerely hope for the best, but my eyes don't deceive me, I see things for what they are and I sigh.  It seems at times, as parents, we have little influence as compared to the entertainers, video games, movies, and more that come into the lives of our teens.  I encourage myself, "Don't worry, you are doing the best you can...remember you were once their ages, you didn't turn out so bad."  True enough.

I think what bothers me the most about teen boys is their immaturity being encouraged by those who say things like, "Boys will be boys...take it easy...check out those girls...don't worry they will find their way."  I am personally not impressed with the lives of those who think that all a boy needs is a ball in his hand, a hot girlfriend, and some flattering words said by loved ones to build up his self-esteem and he will be okay.

As parents we have a lot of work to do when it comes to raising children and if we lack in some areas, it is up to us to seek out professional help--without excuse.  We must make the most of every moment teaching, sometimes preaching, and at times even crying--showing our children that we love them beyond what we say and do.  We must show love, embrace them, and give them guidance that will assist them in every area of their lives from education to spirituality.  There is more to life than what appeals to one's senses and we are responsible for those seeds we sow in both the short and long run.

Nicholl McGuire also maintains Parents, Babies and Children blog, click here. 

When Motherhood Feels Too Hard book by Kelly Crawford

7 Tips on Getting a Break from Children with Little or No Money

Does it seem that your children are dominating every part of your day?  If you feel overwhelmed with your children lately, here are some suggestions on how to get some free time throughout the day to catch your breath.

1.  Utilize a room in your residence that isn't dedicated to children.  If you don't have one, create a space.  This will be your time-out spot.  Explain to your children why this area is off-limits.  Reward them when they are not in that area and are keeping quiet.

2.  Busy your children with some toys/activities that they haven't done for awhile.  Electronics with headphones are a plus.  Also, most wanted new toys (without sound and have parts that stay intact) will keep their interest for awhile.  If you don't have money to buy new toys, take old ones out and rotate toys.  It will feel like Christmas all over again for them.  Take building blocks and dump them in the middle of their floor and let them create while you do what you need to do.

3.  When you can get away from your children (because someone is at home to watch them or you dropped them off elsewhere), visit with loved ones, go to a park, eat at a restaurant alone, or just sit in your car somewhere peaceful.  The needed break will rejuvenate you!

4.  Purchase popular movies (Thrift store, yard sale, online auction, bookstore) or borrow them from the local library, they will keep the children entertained for at least a couple of hours.

5.  Send children to bed early or encourage a nap or "Do Nothing" time.  This is so helpful when you need to get things done in the middle of the afternoon or late during the evening through the night.  Of course, they will put up a fuss but at least you gain your needed free time!

6.  Make plans to go to bed early then awake early (hopefully before the children get up).  This way you will be in the frame of mind to at least start what you need to do, rather than tending to their needs. 

7.  Take them to events where you are able to drop them off ie.) birthday parties, extracurricular activities, etc.)

When all else fails, always look for opportunities for help ie.) school counselors, community centers, welfare office, non-profit agencies, etc.

Nicholl McGuire  

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