Dad doesn't understand, the boss doesn't care, and you might be guilty of brushing off a concerned mother yourself. Worried mothers, unlike birds, will call back their sons and daughters to the nest. So why do they do this? Simply put, because they feel like their children are making unwise decisions. When you see that a son or daughter is going back to mom and dad's house it is for any number of reasons, but the main concern for mom is, "My son/daughter can't take care of his or herself apart from me at this time."
Sometimes mothers have this instinct that begins to grow as her child grows. "He is getting older now, uh oh. The girls, the parties, the drugs...oh I hope he doesn't mess up his life!" Moms have similar concerns like dads when it comes to their daughters. Therefore, if she doesn't feel comfortable with what her son or daughter has done with their lives so far, she will call her child back to the nest.
Now we can name-call judge, ridicule or come down hard on a wayward young person or an irresponsible older person moving back in with mom, but no matter how we feel, that mother is going to protect her son or daughter.
Sometimes we end up being foes of mothers because we tell them what they should be doing with their children when they are in this Mother Bird mode of thinking. "Why are you permitting him to come back home?" we say. "What do you think he will do? How many more times are you going to let your daughter come back to you?" The mother responds, "As many times as it takes until my child puts my worries at ease--until I know that my children can take care of themselves!"
No sense in warring with a mother bird who sees her chics are in danger--best to sit back, be quiet, watch the movie, and just go along with the program. Otherwise, she just might start pecking you!
Nicholl McGuire maintains a blog for parents with newborns, toddlers, tweens, and teens living under one roof together. See
here.
