Top 7 Parenting Tips For Good Parenting: Bring Out The Best In You And Your Kids!

Even though we need a license to do many things in life — everything from driving and operating a forklift to practicing medicine and fishing — there is no license required to become a parent and this is often the trickiest of all of the above activities!

Parenting today is far more difficult than it was, even a generation ago. Many well-intentioned parents are using outdated and ineffective parenting styles. As a result, they experience daily frustration and stress in their home.

Below you will find my top 7 tips for good parenting. These tips inspire children to want to be well behaved, can reduce family fights and boost family joy.

Good Parenting Tip #1 – If you love your kids—put yourself first!

One of the best things we can do for our children is to give them a foundation for becoming a happy and healthy adult. Self-care should not be a luxury for parents—it needs to become a necessity. You need self-care both for being a good parent and a healthy and balanced human being. Far too many children are living with parents who are stressed out and frankly, not at all fun to be around. If you are repeatedly burning the midnight oil, you may be on the brink of parent burnout—not a pleasant thing for you or your family to experience.

Good Parenting Tip #2 – If married—put your marriage before your kids!

Most of us have heard of Generation X and Generation Y. But did you realize that Generation S—Generation Spoiled—is on the rise? Many children today are raised with an unhealthy sense of entitlement because their parents have made them the center of the universe. With divorce statistics still hovering around 50%, children are far too often coping with unhappy, failing marriages and divorce– much worse for them than missing out on a couple of toys or brand name jeans. Take a stand and put some time into your marriage (like go on a date night)—for your whole family’s sake!

Good Parenting Tip #3 – Cherish your children

No matter what your situation—no matter how often your children drive you crazy—know there are thousands of people in this world who would gladly trade places with you. There are couples who would give anything to just have a child. Strive to remember how truly fortunate you are. Hug your children at least three times a day. Regularly tell them how grateful you are to have the opportunity to be their parent.

Good Parenting Tip #4 – Teach your kids to fish—don’t fish for them!

Many parents do everything for their kids. This only robs their children of the opportunity to learn self-reliance—which is vital to building their self-esteem. One of the best things you can do is to help your kids learn how to do things for themselves. One of the chapters of my first book on effective parenting is called "How To Get Your Kids Doing Their Chores Smiling". Some parents think I am from another planet when I even suggest that kids can learn to do chores with a smile on their face. These same doubting parents are often happily surprised when they see it is possible—in their own home and in this century! Household chores teach basic life skills everyone needs to know. Also, chores give children the opportunity to contribute to the household in a positive and meaningful way.

Good Parenting Tip #5 – Focus on what you like, not on what you don’t

If children aren't being appreciated and aren't getting attention for what they do well—and when they behave well—you better believe they will learn to get attention for not behaving well. The more you notice what you like about what they're doing, the less likely they are to morph into destructive little terrors and the more likely you will inspire your child to repeat the good behaviors and achievements you love.

Good Parenting Tip #6 – Give respect and expect it in return

Don’t do anything to your child that you wouldn’t want your child to do to you. The list of things you don’t want to be doing includes: yelling, hitting, spitting, and put downs. There are far better ways for you to handle conflict, stress and common misbehaviors. Commit to learning these “Ultimate Parenting” tools that are based on mutual respect—not fear based punishment that only teaches our kids to not get caught next time!

Good Parenting Tip #7 – A family that plays together stays together!

Have fun—play with your kids. Laughing, tickling, and enjoying one another’s company is the foundation of a happy home. Having fun can go a long way towards preventing much of the needless conflict and behaviors that drive you crazy. It also provides your family with much needed quality time.

These seven effective parenting tips above are child-proofed, effective and fun. By taking the time to learn how to bring out the best in you and in your children, you will reap the rewards that come from the peace of mind—knowing that you did all you could to support and nurture a happy and healthy family life.


Kelly Nault-Matzen, MA, family counselor, corporate parenting spokesperson and award winning parenting author of When You’re About To Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You shares time-tested tools that motivate children to want to be well behaved, responsible and happy! To gain access to more parenting tools and to access your free online parenting course visit http://www.ultimateparenting.com

Tips Of Positive Parenting Skills - Parenting Guidelines For Single Mothers

Raising children as a single mother is a challenge. There are moments when you find that your life is in complete disarray and your house is in complete chaos. This is the time when you feel that you lack essential parenting tips as a single mother. It is better to have such arsenal at your disposal before you land in such a situation.

There are numerous ways to deal with various age groups. Confronting strategies for toddlers differ with those for teenagers. Your 16 year old boy is likely to make fun of you if he is told to spend some time in a thinking chair as he is being obstinate, stubborn and aggressive. On the other hand a few minutes time out will do wonders while tackling a 4 year old. So to be successful as a single mother you should have a set of parenting tips for each group.

Material regarding good parenting skills is widely available. A number of genuine and self proclaimed specialists are also around. A list of websites, books and other means in this aspect would probably require paragraphs. To make your life easy I would mention a few here. You can start with a library or a book shop. Single moms bringing up toddlers and smaller children will really benefit from the Parents Magazine. Unfortunately the major content in Parents Magazine is aimed at married parents. Among the various books available, you should go through at least a couple of them. Those who like Dr. Fan will recommend you his books. Dr. Terry Brazelton is an authority on child behavior. He is a father as well as a pediatrician. Even though a number of his books may be out of date, the attitude of babies and other children has remained the same since long. Last of all "The Well Trained Mind" is a good choice for those who want to train their children early.

A number of websites and organizations are available to assist single mothers with parenting tips. A renowned group is Parents without partners. They provide a wide range of information for single mothers. In the UK similar information is available on gingerbread. Early Start and Head Start Programs deliver the same services in the USA. You may not be eligible for their preschool assistance, but you can participate in courses and seminars which they conduct on positive parenting. Last of all you can look for topics like single parenting and single mothers through any search engine on the internet and get the required information. So if you are a single mother in search of parenting tips now you know where and how to get the required information.

If you require some parenting tips just now I can give you a few basics. As an adult you should be in control. Keep yourself composed all the time. This may not be easy, particularly when you find green finger paint all over your kitchen. The moment you become angry and irritable, you lose your composure. Such a situation may make your little child scared. To be successful always be composed and exercise control over your voice and actions.


by Jennifer A. Gardner

Discover ways to get help from single parenting support group and resource on single mother support when you visit http://www.singleparentingfordummy.com, the online single parenting support resources for dummy.

Ghost Mothers: How to Heal Abandonment and Neglect, and Find Forgiveness

The following article appeared on a free article site back in 2006, I thought it is very relevant to this site, please read.

Mothers who are neglectful, selfish, and abandoning do not set out to do these things, they are a result of their own problems, their own pain, and maybe even mental illness. It is hard for us as her child to see this fully, or to forgive it.

So many women talk about their relationships with their mothers--no matter how old they are. For some, their mother, from whom they have supposedly separated long ago, still occupies a central place in the psyche. She’s too close, she’s too much. She has advice, is nosy, and interferes. The daughter wants time away, she wants boundaries, and fights for her separation from her mother.

For others, the mother still occupies the psyche, but with a wrenching kind of longing--a mother that is biological and even sometimes present, but also a mother who is so self-involved as to be emotionally absent, or literally out of the picture. This kind of mother takes up space and energy as a nagging, missing piece, a ghost. Her image hovers, her memory, or perhaps a dream of how it could have been, should have been, but never is.

Which kind of mother do you have?

My mother was a dream. I realize now, 10 years after her death, that I was always trying to get the dream to come true--to have her be warm and huggy, to have her want to know me, to visit me in my house, to know my children. To know me. It never happened. It left a yearning that I played out with men, it left a hole that I tried to fill in many ways.

When I was little, she left me when I was four years old, and once a year appeared in the landscape of my life--I lived with her mother--only to disappear too soon and in a flurry of anger at her own mother, without seeming to notice how hard it was for me.

So many people--men and women--struggle with this kind of emptiness, the burn of anger in the pit of the stomach, the unanswered questions that can’t be asked--why are you like this?

Mothers who are neglectful, selfish, and abandoning do not set out to do these things, they are a result of her own problems, her own pain, and maybe even mental illness. It is hard for us as her child to see this fully, or to forgive it.

How to help to heal the Ghost Mother wound:

1. Learn about your mother’s life--how she became the way she is--through talking with relatives, if she won’t talk to you directly, or by sitting down and hashing through history shown in photos and family albums.

2. Find adoptive mothers who will nurture you, and friends who understand your story.

3. Learn to mother yourself--through therapy, through having children of your own. They will teach you.

4. Write your story. Tell your story. Having witnesses to your story is a part of healing. Seeing compassion in the eyes of others shows you that you are worthy of it, and deserve it.

5. Learn to forgive. Work on it. Work on being yourself and having a life you like and enjoy.

6. Learn to surround yourself with who you like, people who love and like you, and beauty that makes you feel part of the web of life.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Linda Joy Myers, Ph. D., prize winning author of Becoming Whole: Writing Your Healing Story, is a Marriage and Family therapist and teaches memoir-as-healing workshops in the San Francisco Bay Area and nationally. Linda’s work has been praised by reviewers, healers, and radio and television interviewers.
You can post your comments on her blog at http://lindajoymyers.typepad.com/my_weblog/

I Cried Like a Child Receiving a Spanking in Church!

I don't know what came over me last Sunday in church, but I cried like a child getting a spanking from his or her parent -- I kid you not! It was the kind of cry where the mouth is wide, the yelling is loud and the tears are streaming out one's eyes like a waterfall! I was so overwhelmed with grief that I just dropped to the floor. I couldn't help myself. There was something about that song the choir sung, "God is here in this place..." Well I tell you with all the stress I have been under lately I needed God. Sorry to those of you who are unbelievers, but when I can't get help from man or woman, I have to go above and beyond!

You see, my issues are like every one else's -- too much to do with too little cash. Everything I have worked on over the years has been challenging and just when I would get some kind of a breakthrough with one of my endeavors, something strange would happen and then the ideas like Dominoes would just all fall down. Well I got tired of being defeated by unexplainable occurrences and so that is why I decided to take some people up on their promises that "God will work it out if only you would do this...and do that..." Well I knew what this and that meant, I would have to pray, associate with like-minded believers, take God at his word, etc. I started getting serious about what the word and the people around me were saying and now things are looking up! I wouldn't lie to you readers and I wouldn't sugarcoat the truth!

I also would like to mention that those who I thought would be supportive like family and friends have been my worst enemies. They have smiled in my face, but thought I wasn't paying attention and then I would see a few eye rolls behind my back. Little did they know that I wasn't the only one who saw the envy, the bitterness and the negativity be lashed in my direction, God saw it too! And that's why people who think they are going to capitalize off of me in the future I won't know! As I have told family and friends in the past, be with me in the bad times as well as the good, some of them just don't seem to get it -- too bad!

You see as mothers we have enough stuff to do and then when you have adults who stand around you and act like children too, it can be simply too much to bear! I guess my heavy crying in church was for me and everyone and everything that is in my path. Although I don't believe that God was spanking me spiritually, I do believe he was dealing with me on some of my weaknesses that day, because when I left the church I felt strong!

I don't know what you need in this life that will make you feel better where you are, but what I can assure you is that kneeling down on your knees every now and then doesn't hurt (that is of course if you have bad knees -- then sit down.) Take a moment to really release all the things that are hindering you from getting your priorities in life accomplished! You will have to let go of some things, because life my friend is too short!

I guess sometimes we just have to figuratively lift up a partner, children, family and friends and tell this magnificent God, "I can't do this anymore, you deal with them," then somehow he gives you the strength to get back in there and fight again! If you need some powerful prayers to read over your children purchase A Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian. I don't know her and as of this writing, I am getting nothing for mentioning her on this blog.

Well, I will close this blog with...
May you win every battle that is set before you from now and until the day you die!

Nicholl McGuire
http://spiritualpoemsbynicholl.blogspot.com

Update on When Mothers Cry The Book...

Well 324 pages later and we have a book! It has been over a year since I first announced I was writing a book about motherhood issues --the good, the bad and the ugly! So where is the book at this point over with the folks at Amazon.com. The actual release date is undetermined yet since I am awaiting for the final proof. However, I will have a link on this blog or you can periodically check Amazon between now and the beginning of October (o9) if you haven't heard from me. It will be listed under When Mothers Cry by Nicholl McGuire.

In other news...
I am also including additional writers to this blog who will periodically offer their insight on the joys and tears of parenting. Feel free to leave comments and visit their sites as well.

Well, thank you for your continued support and you will still continue to see some of my latest work here and there on the Internet -- be blessed and not stressed!

Nicholl McGuire
associatedcontent.com/nichollmcguire