During the winter school break, I was cleaning out my closet and came across my diaries. I kept quite a few dating as far back as nine years old, I am now in my mid-thirties.
I flipped through a few of my books decorated with my pen scribblings and that's when I came across my tween years into teen years. You gotta love it, a typical rebellious teen! Entry after entry cussing about the parents, loving a boy one minute, hating another the next. There were the back-stabbing b*tches I couldn't stand to look at much less sit in the same class with. There were the entries that talked about unexpected colds and PMS cramps that kept me home when I had rather be socializing with my friends via my numerous extracurricular activities like running track, Student Council, the student newspaper, and the school choir.
I admit I was an angry teen for the most part beginning around the tween years at about age 11. Why? Because my parents were strict! There was no living the typical teen life in their household. When I began to find the assertive me as my breast developed more and my voice changed, my mother accused me of "sniffing" myself. An old school term typically used in the black community that pretty much meant one thing, "you like them boys!" This meant I wouldn't be visiting any one's home, riding on public transportation with friends, allowed to watch school sporting events, and I definitely wouldn't be allowed to have a boyfriend (publicly, but I still had one or two anyway despite parental warnings) until 17 years! When those very observant, wise mothers took one look at me when I was about 15, they knew I had a boyfriend back then, but you couldn't tell my mother that! "My daughter has no boyfriends! And I resent you suggesting that..." she told one who just smiled and gave me a wink when mom was looking.
I think the parents who have the worse time with their teens, like those I recall complaining about my friends and I when we were young, were those that allowed themselves to be out of touch with what it means to be a teen. They chose to forget the times they mumbled under their breath to mom and/or dad when they didn't want to do anything. They have selective memory when it comes to lying and stealing. And they have amnesia when it comes to the things they did behind their parents back that would have shamed them if only mom and dad knew!
At first I thought about tossing those old diaries, but I changed my mind, because I believe they will come in handy when my son hits 13 in less than two years. For I will look back at the things I said about my own parents who clearly didn't understand me and remind myself, "Remember what you did...remember how you felt..." and just maybe those old books will bring me a tad bit of peace.
To all you mothers out there fighting the good fight with your teens, I commend you. Do look back on your own years, remind yourself, you turned out alright through all the rebellion, misconduct, disrespect, etc.
God bless.
P.S. Take advantage of herbal supplements, prescription medicines, and vitamins they can help a hormonal teen especially one with a lot of acne--I'm a witness!
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