Chapter 13 Relationship Problems - Book When Mothers Cry by Nicholl McGuire

The following is a book excerpt from When Mothers Cry, Chapter 13 Relationship Problems...

"Mothers who have been the victims of cheating are often alone in their pain; because at the time it happens there is usually no one around who can comfort them.  Even a partner who cheated will have someone to lean on to ease his pain when the relationship with his children's mother comes to an end!  A mother who has ben cheated on will agonize over the fact that she was the babysitter for her partner while he went out on his dates.  She may think of all the times she slept with him and he had been in the bed with someone else.  Her stomach churns inside because this man told her that he loved her repeatedly and had no other woman, but she learns that it was all a lie.  She suggested relationship counseling and he had excuses.  Now she has children looking up to her asking questions about "you and daddy..." and all she can say with tears in her eyes is, "You will have two houses you get to go to."  Meanwhile, she is really thinking, "How did it come to this?" While she was thinking that every couple argues, he was thinking every man needs to get away.  While she was thinking he will get over past disagreements, he was thinking, "I will find someone else."  While she was thinking about the fun time he must be having with their children while she is away, he was really toting them around so that he could visit his girlfriend.  This is the a pain that far too many mothers face!  It is a pain that sickens her stomach and causes her to go to the bathroom one too many times, because she is afraid of what more will she find out and how will she react to yet another surprise?  What secrets is he keeping from her?  What woman will call or show up at the house?  What will slip out of her children's mouths next?  What did the children see daddy do while mommy was away?

*                                                                                 *                                                                    *

If you are a mother suffering right now because of a relationship challenge, then consider getting help outside of yourself so that you can make some changes mentally.  Some of the things you can do:  attend a support group for your concern, participate in a weekly Bible study group, read books or watch programming that will help you think positively, get over your past, and forgive yourself and others.  For instance, if you are using the children to get back at your partner, stop it!  You are hurting the children more than you can imagine, because they have a natural bond with their father that was already in them before they were born.  They can't help how they feel because their father helped fertilize the seed!  If their father is coming around to see the children and he treats them respectfully and kindly then let him be a part of their lives.  If the father is incarcerated tell him to address letters to the children or take them to see him.  Children can learn powerful lessons about life whether their father is free or imprisoned.  It's up to the parents to teach the children and answer their questions as honestly as they can.  Mothers who are wounded emotionally by their mates sometimes suffocate their relationship pain by drinking alcohol, doing drugs or other useless things in order to get a false sense of happiness.  Then later, when their high wears off, their back to square one again--coping with the pain in their mind, body and spirit.  The healing process to get over relationship issues can be shortened if the mother acts with a sober mind.

Every mother should consider listening to her children.  When your child sees you are irritable often yelling, complaining, or being abusive, he or she is going to yell, act up, be angry, or be spiteful.  Children mirror their parent's behavior.  Check yourself before you check your children!  There are those women who don't bother to read a book, see their doctor, or do anything mentally or physically healthy to get them on the right track.  Strongly consider getting the help you need if you know you are guilty of flipping out on your children because you can't seem to shake the pain off of something that a man or someone else has done to you.  You may also be going through some health issues as well such as a mental disorder, perimenopause, menopause, PMS, or some other hormonal related issue.  You may not know why you are angry often.  Once you have an understanding of what is wrong with you, get an understanding with your child or children and find out what his or her issues are at school, work, family, or with you.  All it takes is a major situation like cheating to occur to wake you up to other things going wrong in your life, you can either learn from what you went through and work toward being a better person, or let resentment, bitterness, anger, and fear eat you up on the inside.  Eventually, you will die and miss out on the opportunities in life to see your child grow up to be a wonderful adult.  I honestly believe that children are our second chance at life.  They are there to help us become better people personally and professionally."

Purchase your copy today "When Mothers Cry" by Nicholl McGuire